White Post

~*~

Sunday 5:00am

She found her spot on a wet bench by a white post at the train station. She lowered herself slowly, holding her lower stomach. A chill ran up her spine as the freezing water beneath her soaked into her faded jeans. She held in her tears, trying to stay alert. Where is he...

The rain poured, tapping against her cold face as she pulled her sleeved to her elbow. Come on, come on. She looked away from her watch, trying to ignore the ticking that seemed to be amplified. She tapped her foot against the puddles underneath her sneakers. She sighed heavily, and closed her eyes. She placed the palm over her hand over her womb. A tear fell down her cheek and landed on her hand. She watched her tears continue to fall from her face as she sniffled. He has to come. He promised.

A few moments passed by, and her sobbing quieted as a train made a stop nearby and sounded it's horn.

 

He'll come by.

She remained on the bench with her hands still holding the heart beat in her lower stomach. She traced the diamond ring on her left hand with her thumb. The rain had slowed, but the temperature had not. She rested one arm against her duffle bag. She felt it compress as she shifted her weight against it. The duffle bag had only contained her basics, or anything she was able to grab in 20 minutes. Toothbrush, 4 pairs of jeans, a week's worth of underwear, a few pairs of socks, a couple band T shirts and about 200 dollars of savings meant for books next semester from her piggy bank. The only coat she had was the one on her back. She zipped it up and breathed in and out.

Her lips quivered as she felt the pain in her chest slowly emerge. She knew her parent's called the police due to her absence, maybe not by that very moment, but sometime after sunrise. But there's no turning back now. It was time to let go of her start of college life next fall. It was time to let go of any independent dream.

It was the break of dawn on a quiet Sunday. She sat there, still and anticipating. The train station wasn't crowded, thankfully. Only a handful of people have passed by silently, heads down, minding their own errands and trying to get to their train on time. Mostly business men, trying to make ends meet between meetings and coffee breaks. Nobody had the time to stop to aid a young lady quietly wiping her tears from her tired eyes. These kinds of sights seemed to be a norm in the small town she was from.

 

Her thoughts drifted to her new dreams of the California shore and her newborn baby lying in her arms. Her tearing ceased as she thought deeper of her husband-to-be kissing her forehead, promising a solution to all that has gone wrong...

~*~

Saturday 9:30pm

She winced at the little pink plus sign she tapped against the bathroom sink. Please, no, no, no. A pain started to boil in her head, a migraine was building up.

"What, babe, what?' He cracked the bathroom door open, just enough for his head to peak through. He eyes were filled with worry. He had only thought about the possibility, but didn't expect it to make its way to reality.

"Look look!" She cried as she threw the test into the sink and faced him. She lowered her body, and slid her back against the cabinet under the sink. She held herself and started to sob uncontrollably.

He was hesitant, opening the door wider so his body can fit through. He watched her cry for a moment, and felt the nervousness build up in him. He looked over the sink at the test. His eyes widened at the little pink plus sign sitting here, simply stating positive.

He placed both hands on his temples and looked down at her.

She looked up, her mascara smeared across her face. She took a deep breathe.

"What about college, what about your scholarship? Mom is going to kill me..." She dropped her head into her knees and held herself tighter. "It's over, it's over..."

He felt a sharp pain ignite in his chest once again. He hated seeing her cry, it broke him down. He looked around the little white bathroom as if something would strike an idea, or a solution. He didn't have to worry about anyone in his house hearing her cry. His mom was always out, his dad always working late nights at the office.

As she continued to sob he lowered himself to his knees and held her hands. His hands started to shake as they wrapped around her small fingers. His hands always served as protection around hers. Her tears started to slow as she took longer and slower breaths. 

She looked up again, with her smeared make up and pouting lip. He looked into her brown eyes and felt his heart lighten.

"Run away with me. Marry me." He said suddenly.

"Wait... What? Are you crazy?" Her eyes stopped tearing as he kept on with this crazy idea.

"I love you, and you love me, right? And we always said it'd be great to run away together. To forget about everyone behind us. You always talk about going to California and getting married..." He held her hands tighter in his and started to breathe lighter, as if he had found the answer. 

"Are you serious? I do love you, you know that... But college, my mom, my dad!" She started to panic, her breathing ran faster. She already started visualizing her parent's disappointed faces when they find out their perfect little angel had become pregnant. Her eyes seemed to dry out from crying.

"Baby, it's okay, I'll stay with you. I'll work myself up, I'll pay, I'll work hard. We will make this work..."

Though he was meant to be the stronger one in their relationship, he was just about as scared as she was. He felt safer with the idea of staying by her side. She started to breathe naturally and with ease again as she leaned into his chest.

She continued to breathe lightly into his chest, listening to his heart beat. He shifted his position so he was leaning against the cabinet on the floor. They sat there in silence echoing their low sobs as he held her in the little white bathroom.

She thought to herself quietly. The idea of losing him hurt more than anything. A spike of heart break met her chest as she kept thinking about being separated. She then thought about how he was right about her silly California dream. Well, her parents have always been disapproving of her dream, but she knew that he always carried her along her idea, for he wanted the same thing.

A clear coast, a beautiful family, a protecting husband by her side. What more could she ask for? She dreamt about rooting from nothing into a wonderful life in California. She did indeed wanted to share that dream with him, if he was dedicated. She felt strongly for him. She felt young being with him, she felt invincible with him. 

She still had to let go of the plans already in action before her if she were to stay. She had a full ride scholarship waiting for her at home. She was in line to become a full-time nurse in the next few years. The image of her in scrubs for the rest of her life weren't her dreams, but her parent's. She knew that if she were to come home that Saturday night, her scholarship was to be thrown down a black hole never to be found again. Her parents would be slap her in the face and throw her out.

He was also on a list with a scholarship for professional football. He planned to make his name known one day. But with the life occurrence that came about that night, all those dreams were to be put away in the back of their minds and fade into "if only" and "what ifs."

She listened to his heart beat once more and sighed quietly. She placed her hands over her womb and sniffled. Looking up at him she smiled weakly.

He pursed his lips, and raised his eyes brows.

 

"Train station tomorrow morning, just before sunrise. Leave one note, take what you can, no good byes, just us. I'll meet you by the white post."

"Okay."

His eyes lit up as he kissed her forehead. He couldn't believe what he was doing. He wiped the last bit of tears from her eyes.

"Okay." He smiled back and kissed her lips.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and he stood to his feet, lifting her up. He sighed heavily and looked around the little white bathroom. His eyes caught one of his mother's diamond rings.

"Oh wait, I should do this right." 

"Wait, what?" Her eyes examined his facial expressional curiously.

He grabbed the ring that sat on top his mother's little jewelry box.

"Oh... my..." She put her hands over her lips. He lifted her up once again, and placed her on top of the sink, glancing once again at the little pink plus sign. He looked at her lower stomach and kissed it. He looked up at her and smiled as he bent down on one knee, holding her left hand in his.

He gently lifted her little ring finger, and kissed her finger tip.

"Baby, I don't know where things will go after that white post. I don't know what will happen after we get on that train, I don't know what will happen after I walk out that door." Tears started to form around his eyes. Her eyes started to tear as he kept on. He rose from his knee and held her face in his hands. He wiped her tears with his thumb.

"But I do know that since the day I told you I loved you that I want to be the one to watch the wrinkles form around your beautiful face, I do know that I want to be the one holding you at night, I do know I want to be the one wake up to your beautiful smile. And I know for a damn fact that I want to be the one kissing you at that alter. I promise to love you and hold you and protect you. I'll be a hard working father and a dedicated husband, will you take the honor to be my partner in life? To be my wife? To be mine? Forever?"

She was full on crying with her heart filled with love, and more hope than ever.

"Yes baby, I would love to be yours forever..." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him harder than she's ever kissed him before. We'll be okay...

Sunday morning, train station before sunrise, white post.

~*~

 Saturday 12am

After a long good night for her mother and father, she sat at a desk in her living room. It hurt knowing that she was going to leave so many questions for her mother and father. It killed her knowing that her parent's didn't know it was going to be the last time they were to hear from their daughter. Her eyes started to sting once again as the hole in her heart started to cave in. The tears fell on the sheet of notebook paper and smeared the ink.

Dear ma and pa,

I'm sorry.

I didn't know what else to do, and I couldn't bare to hurt you anymore if I were to stay. I promise I'll take care of myself, I promise. I'm sorry I never told you. I'm sorry this is what I'm leaving you with. 

I love you.

~*~

Sunday 4:30am

She woke up, eyes puffy from a sleepless night. Looked in the mirror and looked away. It's okay, I'll have better mornings... 

She packed her bags without hard thought, and left a note on her kitchen counter. She kissed her little yellow house good bye, and let one tear fall as she ran through the rain and into the cab she had reserved the night before.

~*~

Sunday 6am

The officer took a few steps to get to the door before he hesitated to turn around. I hate doing this.

He knocked the door with three hard knocks. A women with make up smeared across her face and the smell of alcohol on her breath had opened the door after a few moments.

"May I help you?" She yawned as she looked past the office at his squad car. "Is something wrong?"

"Good morning ma'am." The officer looked at the puddles underneath his feet. "You are aware of your son leaving your house at approximately 4:30 this morning, correct?"

"No, sir, I assumed he was still sleeping in his room?" Her eyes opened up as her breathing grew heavy. "Unless he went out? I don't know for sure, sir."

"He had a duffle bag with him, as if he were going on a trip?" He hesitated once again. A run away...

"I'm sorry to inform you that he was a part of a tragic car accident around 5 this morning. We were reported a taxi cab accident off the high way before the train station. The iced roads caused a swivel into another car..."

  Her heart started to sink and her face reflected denial.

"The victim's wallet was found off the road, with his I.D that traced back to this address..." He felt his chest start to burn as he forced out the next few sentences. "We ask you to come by the hospital to identify the body."

She broke down on the door step as the officer looked away.

She weakly cried to the officer.

"My baby..."

She called her husband, who was still sound asleep in bed, tired from working late the night before. 

When he heard the news his heart shattered into pieces as he grabbed his car keys...

~*~

Sunday 5:30am

Sirens sounded near by the train station as her patience grew tired. She started to sob again, knowing that he had bailed on her. The sun had started to rise as her scheduled train was approaching. More people have come along, talking about a car accident that had been blocking and slowing traffic. 

Her hope started to fade and the reflection off her diamond ring seemed more like an empty future.

Why did I even try...

Her train had approached as she looked for him for a few more moments. Her heart dropped and she realized that he left her. This abandonment was a message from him telling her to get on that train and just go.

She removed the diamond ring from her ring finger and laid it by the white post as she cried. She had hoped that at least someone with more hope for a better life were to find it. She didn't want the lie to wrap around her finger. It held so many empty promises. She wiped her tears and held her womb. She grabbed her duffle bag and walked slowly to the train, knowing what she was leaving behind.

She had no anger in her, for she knew she loved him. And she knew that maybe he'd find her in California if there was a slight chance that he did love her. She knew that her escape on the train was the white light she needed to walk towards.

She left the white post that stood by the diamond ring, and hopped onto the train. Good bye.

~*~

Saturday 12am

His note left on the kitchen counter:

Dear mom, dad:

I'm sorry. But I promised her.

~*~

Sunday 7:30am

Note found in victim's wallet:

Hi baby! I told you I meant it, I'm just about to go to bed and I just finished packing. I just felt like writing you a little something before I fall asleep. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I love you so much.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think! Thanks! Sorry it's a bit lengthy, but my mind races.

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Nice concept and execution. You make good use of imagery here, and the reader can definitely tell you've put a lot of thought into the piece, and as such it manages to keep the reader's attention, which is always a good thing. One thing I'd say would be to go back over this piece and make sure every part of it contributes to the message and the whole appropriately - there were a few little bits where it felt almost as though your heart wasn't in it. Other than that, very well done.

[ragelmarli]

Thanks!!