An incident which changed my life

LOOK AT LIFE WITH DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES...REACH FOR WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE NEVER WAIT FOR IT TO COME TO U

NOTE : THIS IS NOT A STORY OF MY LIFE. IVE JUST CREATED AN IMAGINARY PERSON GIVING AND ACCOUNT OF HER SORROWFULL LIFE!

im one of those people who consider there lives as dull and colorless. ive tried to looks towards life  through many perspectives but no angle brought me any satisfaction. the moments of love and laughter had no meaning in my life. it easy for all those people who have a positive outlooks to say:'' Aww. Why be so negative about everything!'' 

          its hard for them to understand what people like me are going through. so believe me all those of you who think and believe that your life has nothing beautiful to offer you, IM WITH YOU. Im a 15 year old girl, whose got plenty of defects and isnt really very attractive to looks at, but yet these things dont matter to me. ive got better things to worry about like what im gonna eat at dinner and most importantly MY FAMILY PROBLEMS.

         YEAH. sure everyone has it and leads to having a drastic effect on children and leads them to do things we would not even like to contemplate about. no part of my life was peaceful. day and night it would be a continual loop of shouting screamin yelling throwing dishes , you name it!

         i bet you getting an idea of where this storys' gonna lead to and if you dont better stay tunned if ive been able to keep you interested so far! Anyways, my parents used to fight alot, on the tiniest and most insignificant matters. it was all petty squabbles. i mean why fight over each and everyhting thing. our life isnt so big that we go fighting on and and not have other better things to do. like watch our favourite dramas or attend meetings at the office. It only leads to your bloodpressure getting high and hurting you children to see you fighting so much that it makes them want to close their coz of the fear with what you might do next! 

         yes! im one of those children who got affected by this.. and it had a drastic effect on me which led me to do something i regretted my entire life!my only consolement was my one and only friend JANE. she was pretty and a wonderful family had a beautiful character got good grades etc etc. (you know what i mean). i would share everything with her and she would always try to cheer me up. she really tried to make me forget the pain of seeing my parents fight by taking me into an imaginary world. But, how long will ones imagination last, how long will he keep running from reality, how long will he try to neglect what he can see happening everyday in front of him. reality is reality and we have to face it one way or another. THATS A BITTER FACT.

     well going on with the story. one day mama and papa had crossed it! they even faught during a parent teacher meeting the whole school could hear them. i never went to school for a month then. but even so just like reality i couldnt escape school for much long either. when i went back to school i had to face that pity-like environment everyone had around me. i would hear everyone whispering '' poor girl i really pity her, dont her parents think about her welfare and happiness'' FINE I GET IT! enough with all the pity-like sympathy. teachers would give me good marks even though i gave a poor test. i hated the sympathy i got out of pity! 

    to cry all my feelings out i would go to my secret hideout. THE BRIDGE. yes the bridge , really it doesnt have anyother name ive searched it many times its just called the bridge. maybe the peopl who made it didnt want to put more effort into the final touchings by giving it some fancy name! anyways one night i had got so upset of my parents fighting i ran away from home and went to that same bridge

    like some emotional damsel in distress i would cry:

         '' why do i have to go through all this pain and suffering. why cant i know the meaning of happiness, ive wait so patiently for happiness but it never comes to me. whatg have i done to go through all of this''

 as i was lost in my own emotional thoughts a motorbike speeded through. it caught me off guard and i slipped OVER the short walls of the bridge. as i well to my doom i panicked i didnt want to die but as i thought in those few seconds as i was about to fall i thought that maybe dying might really end all my pain if not bring happiness. i no longer have to go through this worlds sickening atmosphere of doom and perpetual darkness. i closed my eyes and smiled as i finally crashed to the hard ground. i looked at the stars for the final time till my vision went blurr. i died that night. or so i thought.

     

  i thought that the next time i would open my eyes i would be in heavan surrounded by peace. but when i died a new me was reborn. 

     

  when i opened my eyes again what i saw wasnt the light of heavan. i was able to recognize the voices around me not was i properly able to see. as i came more and more to my sense i found that i was admitted in a hospital with three to four nurses running around. some with bandages others with report or medicines. 

''where am i?'' the doctor saw me and helped me get up. he asked me how i was feeling and i replied i was feeling gloomy coz i wasnt able to go above the clouds where everyone who were happy lived peacefully, the doctor didnt understand me nor did i expected him to. than i saw some people banging on the door and opening it. A man and a women crying rushed inside. they looked like they were married. i didnt know who they were. the women hugged me sooooo tightly i thought i would die of suffocation. she would say:

''oh my child are your alright im so sorry our acts led to you doing somehithing like that. im so sorry forgive me my daughter', its fine if you cant forgive me now but i will always cherish and loce you''

    i didnt know whose anem she was calling out again and again but it felt like those sweet words were for me. when i tried thinking bout my name or who i was out of surprise i found out i couldnt remember anything

i panicked and my lips shivered, 

WHATS WRONG WITH ME DOCTOR IM NOT ABLE TO REMEMBER ANYTHING TELL ME WHATS WRONG WITH ME

more tears started pouring from the womens eyes as i asked this. the doctor also hesitated telling me but finally told me 

YOU HAVE AMNESIA.........

I  couldnt believe what i had heard. i didnt want to believe. this was the reality i didnt want to face. people are supposed to be listening to good news in hospitals instead of bad. why does pain and unhappiness follow me everywhere i go.

it felt like everything around me jad stopped even my heartbeat. i felt i had just stepped in to a world who knew everything about me but about whom i didnt know naything about. i fell unconscious after that. i stayed in that hospitall for 5 monts during my time there. i thought about what i would do about my life how would i face my life

how will i face all those people who knew the old me.. wil they like the new me. what if they dont accept the new me. during my nights at the hospital i often grasped upon many memories. memories in which i was laughin memories in which i was crying. but i never really understood them

when i got discharged from the hospital. i could finally feel the warmth of the sun the wind blew on my face as if it remembered me. but it made me upset coz i didnt know anything about that wind which must have blown so many times on my face from before my amnesia. i wanted to know what my life was like before how did i get amnesia what happened that got me this amnesia many years passed and i got my answers. after getting all my answers i would often curse myself and blame myself for it. i was worried about what would happen once i would gain all my memories. because that would mean losing the memories i make in this life and memories i might no longer have any emotions abot from my previous life. im 29 now and married. althought my amnesia hasnt fully healed yet ive got enough answers to help me not make the same mistake i had made 14 yrs ago. i never fight with my husband and love my kids more than my parents loved me. i dont want to lose all the memories i have with this world even if all those memories are sad. 

  

althought i never recovered fully from my amnesia. it taught me something so valuable. 

 GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT BUT BETTER THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO PERSUE FOR 

 I JUST WAITED AROUNF FOR HAPPINESS TO REACH ME BUT NEVER TRIED TO PURSUE IT

i have learned to value my life and face the challenges in my life.well thats my story. sure it got alot of tragedy in it but atleast it didnt end like shakespeares' romeo and juliet where nobody got a happy ending!