She Stares at the Wall. The White, Clean Wall. So Prim and Proper and Trim.
Little does She Know That the Outside World Isn't at all what They've Shown.
The Rain falls, The Thunder cracks, The Lightning strikes, The World crumbles.
All of It comes Down Right before Her. Yet She's Safe There, In Her own Little Box.
Or, At least, That's What She Thought.
She Stares at the Wall. The Gray, Messy Wall. Not so Prim or Proper or Trim.
Water Drips from the Ceiling, Onto the Cold Tile Floor. The Dripping Drops Become Puddles, Flooding the White, Not-So-Safe Box.
She Stares at the Wall. The Black, Tainted Wall. Not Prim nor Proper nor Trim.
The Ceiling cracks, The Walls crumble, The windows break, The chair collapses.
The Dark, Cold Waters Of Anguish and Despair Fills the Room.
The girl, White Dress no longer Clean, Blond Hair no longer Shiny, Blue Eyes no longer Sparkling. The Outside World, Once only Threatening, Has finally made Its claim.
The Girl, Soul once White and Pure, Has Drowned.
Washed away by Fear, Washed away by Pain, Washed away by Loneliness.
Poor, Once Sweet, Innocent girl. She's Finally Been Corrupted.
It's been moths since I've wrote this. I'd been looking everywhere for it, too.
Amazing what can happen when you clean your room, right?
Random capitalization. Yeah. It's supposed to be like that. Just so ya know.
My Review
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Good use of the box and the idea of growing up sheltered from the world only to have it all cave in on you eventually. I think that this has some real value in its potential to show a lot. I wish you talked more about the naivety portion rather than just assuming the audience knew that exact stage before all the darkness and despair come tumbling in and smash it away, but honestly you've done a good job the latter.
Ohemgee. this was so dark and powerful. I mean... wow. I love this. So f*****g much. Great imagery, amazing in general. I love the whole "purity" thing. Love it. :D
It's so powerful, and dark [inawayyouknowwhatimean], and I love the concept and everything. ♥ It's just.... I love every line, and the way you repeat the 'prim proper wtfever' stuff. I love the symbolism and the imagery in it, as well, and I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO FRUHEAKING SAY. SO GOODBYE. I LOVE IT.