Okay...um...well...Not really much to say...But...Yes, I know it's depressing, and sad, and sorta about death and/or suicide...It was MEANT to be that way. Just another poem. Nothing special.
Shattered
A
windowpane
S
H A T T E R S
Into
a
M
I L L I O N
Little
Tiny
Pieces.
I
stare at the
G
L A S S
And
just
W
A T C H
The
sparkles,
Rainbows,
And
shimmers.
Intrigued,
I
pick it up.
I'm
C
U T
Like
a knife.
I
stare at the
B
L
O
O
D
D
R I P P I N G
Down
My
Arm.
Flinch.
Wait
for the pain that
N
E V E R ~ C O M E S
And
just relax.
It's
strangely
C
A L M I N G
In
a way.
Sit
down. Stare at the sky. Down at my arm. At the blood on the grass.
It
looks like the ground is bleeding.
Cheer
up. Blood runs faster. Out my veins onto the ground. So much. Feeling
dizzy.
I DO like some criticism, to let me know about what you people think about the poem. But, if you're just gonna flame it, then whatever. I honestly don't care...So, any ideas on what you think will make future writings better, I wanna hear your opinions.
My Review
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i am not sure if it was the formatting of the poem that gave much to it...no doubt its different than ususal..however may be confusing...moving forward to the contnt part..its exceptionally well written.... i felt as if i am listening to "comfortably numb"...its suprising how sometimes pain becomes out silent alibi...and we stop to feel it through those external injuries... perhaps the pain inside if so strong that cuts of a knife makes no difference now...
the imagery was apt for a piece like this
well penned!
Posted 14 Years Ago
I agree whole-heartedly with TIMagination.
The format was unique, but it added something extra to this.
I really can't point anything out wrong, either, to be honest.
Very excellent.
I thought it was really well done and the formatting was unique to other poems I've seen. If there was anything wrong, I'd be sure to point it out, but nothing bad to say here. Nice job.
The layout you used took a piece that would have been good and turned it into something great! The look capitalized on harnessing the power of key words that got the reader to focus on specific places along the way, making the overall presentation wonderful.