Chapter 1&2

Without Further Ado
CHAPTER 1
Ten minutes past two. Her bra was black with lace, and I could still smell the department store she’d bought it from. This was a big deal to her. She’d bought clothes to impress me. I smirked a little at the thought. My fingers slid along her back as I pressed my mouth to her neck. I could taste her perfume and it twisted my lips into a grimace. Her brown hair fell along my vision as she pulled her head upwards to look down at me.

The grimace would not have been a happy sight for her, and so I cupped the back of her neck and brought our lips together before she could see me clearly. I spun her over, kissing along her neck despite the taste. Her body was nearly perfect. She had hourglass curves �" soft breasts and wide hips. She was a girl �" breasts, butt, long hair, and her lips tasted like cherry lip gloss.

The most important part of all of it, other than her being a girl, was that she enjoyed it. If she didn’t like it, then I would hear about it from half the school, somehow, some way, even if she herself didn’t talk much. People would find out.

My thrusts inside of her were slow at first, faster upon her urging, and I made myself wait until I could see the flush on her cheeks and chest and feel the vibrating silence than ran through her body before I finished. Then, I did finish, and her laugh was breathless and awed. “You are so much better than the other guys.”

I hovered over her, and she grinned when our eyes met. “Something tells me from your expression that being better than them isn’t exactly a high bar.”

Her smile was shy for a moment, and then she leaned forward and kissed me again. “Well, it’s not, but your bar is quite high.”

I hadn’t always had a high standard, and my first couple of times had resulted in horrifyingly bad disasters. The amount of online reading I’d done to ensure that I knew what I was doing was embarrassing �" something about high school girls just didn’t lend itself to practice. “I’m glad you think so.”

The door opening was at the back of my mind since the feel being inside her was still buzzing in my brain. The after effects of what was an overall positive experience had me on a bit of a high. The stairs were what stirred me to action, and my jaw clenched when I recognized the quick, purposeful steps on the wooden steps outside. “Oh, s**t.”

“I thought you said your parents were out of town?”

“They are, it’s not…” I grabbed the sheet for her to wrap around herself, and I managed to grab the discarded comforter just in time for the knock at the door.

“Calis? Practice started fifteen minutes ago �" are you awake?” The voice was light, cautious, and exasperated. That voice had known before the door ever opened.

“I, uh… yes! I just got up �" just give me a couple seconds.”

She spoke, then, with a light smile on her face. “Oh, isn’t that…”

I snapped my head across and motioned for her not to say anything. She seemed unsure why it should matter. She threw her feet over the bed, but she kept the sheet securely fastened around herself.

She wasn’t worried �" his voice had brought her as much relief as it had brought me misery. Then again, that wasn’t her fault since she couldn’t have understood the situation. She kept the sheet drawn around herself as she made a motion towards the door. Panic shot through me, and I leapt from my position with my pants halfway up my legs to stop her. The motion didn’t quite work, and I hit my dresser which resulted in his lamp crashing onto the bedroom floor.

F**k, that was the only reason that he would open the door without my consent �" worry.

“Calis? Are you alright?”

The bedroom door opened to reveal the small, black-haired boy with a green soccer jersey beneath a gray zip-up hoodie. His eyes found her a few seconds after he’d checked to ensure my survival. “Oh. Oh, I… I’m sorry. I-I should go.”

F**k.

She shook her head, but I yanked my pants the rest of the way on. “Taylor, no, wait!” I didn’t bother with a shirt as I sprinted down the stairs to catch Taylor by the arm just a second before he reached the front door. “Hey, hey, wait…”

“No, no. I… forget it, alright? I need to get to practice.” The arm pulled away from my fingers, but I kept a firm grip.

I shook my head. “Look, I told you I’m just getting some stuff worked out right now. You don’t need to be mad.”

“I’m not mad. I just… I mean, you kissed me. I never would have even… it never would have mattered, and I never would have thought anything, but…”

The hiss of breath that came out of my mouth made the customary ‘sh’ sound, and the blue eyes broke upon hearing them. Sickness bubbled in my throat as words became twisted and impossible. “Okay, look, I need to get to practice, okay? We don’t all have tenure with the team when we’re late. It’s my first year.”

“Hey, I… that came across badly. I… look, I… I don’t know why I did that. I mean, I do take responsibility for it, and I’m… I’m sorry. But… I just don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.”

Taylor nodded his head in a very deliberate manner. “Wrong idea? Does that include me?”

“No!” I paused. “I mean, yes… but… that’s not what I… I mean obviously I don’t want to give you the wrong idea.”

“Okay, so can you just tell me what the wrong idea is?”

I shook my head. In that moment, I would have argued until my death that I didn’t know, but I knew perfectly well. “Okay, come on, I mean… I just… I need to do this so no one thinks that I’m just… that I’m…”

He lowered his voice, even though the subtle anger made me aware that he wanted to raise it. “That you’re gay?”

“I’m not.”

“Okay. Fine.”

I shook my head, and I took him by the shoulders. “Look, I know you can understand this. People are going to say things about me and you… I’m just trying to make sure no one does. That’s all. And it’s kind of fun.”

His lips pressed together, and I could see the way his tongue moved in his mouth as he tried to hold back his emotions. “Okay, well, how about this? We can just not hang out anymore, and that way, you don’t have to worry about your reputation or me getting angry when you’re just trying to have a good time.”

“What?”

“You’re a senior. I’m a freshman. It’s not that hard for us to avoid one another, and that way there aren’t any chance of any bad rumors.”

I shook my head, but my tongue continued to fail. “What are you talking about? You’re my best friend. I don’t want to not be your friend anymore.”

His smile was quiet for a moment, and then he slowly removed his arm from my loosening grip. “Sometimes, people grow apart. They want different things, and that causes things not to work out anymore. You’ll be going to college soon, anyway. I just think this is for the best, okay? People will speculate, and I don’t want to ruin your senior year.”

“Taylor, no… come on, Taylor. I was just…”

“I don’t want to be friends anymore, Calis. I can’t. Please, just respect that. Some of us aren’t as sure of our identity as you seem to be.”

I wanted to stop him. A thousand words in my head would have been perfect �" the things that I thought of after that moment. He wouldn’t have left. He would have stayed. All I had to say was that he was important, but I just stammered some half-formed words. He smiled at me one more time. “I’ll see you at soccer.” And then he walked out.

I didn’t follow him, and no matter how many words went through my head, I never said them to him �" not at the soccer games, not for my entire senior year, not at all.

~


I stared at my computer screen, pushing my hair out of my face for what must have been the forty seventh time. “Forget it, one missed assignment isn’t going to fail me out forever. I can’t do it.”

“I’m not taking pity on you and giving you the answers, Tsrali. It’s lab questions. Make things up. Like you do with Tamara all the time.”

The first object I got my hands on was my old computer mouse, and I threw it across the room to hit him in the shoulder. “Oh shut up, Lee, I do not make things up with Tamara.”

My cursor continued to flicker in the box that should have held my answer. The assignment was due in less than twenty minutes, and I had to come up with one hundred words that made sense together before then. “I don’t see why I am even in this lab. This has nothing to do with law or anything like it. It’s my senior year of college, and somehow I am still in this bullshit course!”

“If you’d taken it earlier, then you wouldn’t be taking it now.” Lee had never been very good at handing out sympathy, though I didn’t think he tried particularly hard to be good at it.

I shook my head. “If I’d taken it earlier, I’d have already dropped out of college to become a mildly violent homeless man.”

“And if you keep this up, then that’s where you’ll end up anyway.”

His uncanny ability to be right in every situation made my teeth snap to a grind, and I slowly began the process of creating a paragraph that may not be laughed out of the biology lab. I managed to hit submit with a little over five minutes left and no proof reading. “Alright, there, he knows I tried.”

Lee, who had finished all his assignments for the week three days ago, was laid across my bed tossing a soccer ball into the air and catching it. “So, have you decided whether or not you’re coming to Tamara’s cousin’s wedding?”

“I decided that two weeks ago when you asked me �" remember? I said no.” Lee turned to me with a emotionless smile, and he still managed to catch the ball and throw it back into the air.

I grabbed a pen on my desk and banged the bottom into the wood a few times. “I know you said no, but I need you to come because Tamara is going to be mingling with her cousins, and she’s going to expect me to entertain, and if you’re there, I have an excuse to slip away. Come on, Lee, I thought we were friends.”

His eyebrow quirked as he caught the ball again, and he didn’t look at me. “Well, you have misunderstood the nature of our friendship, I think. Why do you keep this ball around since you quit the soccer team, anyway?”

My mouth opened to explain, and then I bit into the side of my cheek. “I don’t know. Sometimes, I still like going outside and kicking the ball around. Please, come to this wedding. You don’t have to stay long.”

“Calis, literally nothing you say could ever convince me to come to that wedding. You have told me incessantly that Tamara is the only tolerable person in that entire family. Why would I spend an evening with them? You are going to have to spend some time with them whether I’m present or not.”

I cursed past me for having been so open about the horrors of Tamara’s family. She dealt with them well, but I had not picked up the skill in six months of dating. “I will have to spend less time with them, and no one is going to care if you go hide in the corner �" no one knows who you are!”

“I’m not going.”

My eyes followed the ball as he threw it, though I couldn’t find further words to make my case anymore than I already had. I’d opened my mouth to try again, but a knock at the door stopped me. “That’s probably Tamara. She said she was coming by after her group project met today.”

I started towards the door, checked the peep hole, and opened it when my suspicions were confirmed. She graced me with a smile and a hug when I opened the door, and I returned each of them. A result of the hug was my head on hers, and in that position was when I saw the small red haired girl standing awkward behind her. “Oh, you brought a friend?”

Tamara stepped away from me, and she glanced back to the girl. “Yes, I did. This is actually one of my cousins that you hadn’t met yet �" her name is Katt Mason.” I worked to keep my face from instantly falling. “We decided to go look for dresses together.”

One corner of my mouth turned upwards, though it didn’t last long. “I thought you already had your dress?”

“I do, but you know I love shopping.”

I stepped aside to let both of them inside. The fact that the red-haired girl hadn’t given me her life history yet set her apart from the rest of Tamara’s family immediately. “Well, nice to meet you, Katt. I’m Calis Tsrali.”

Her smile was shy, and she nodded. “Yeah, uh… Tamara told me… about you. Not like a lot, or anything personal… just… you know, about you in the sense that your name was Calis Tsrali and you were her boyfriend.”

“Well, that is an accurate description of me. Well done, Tamara.” My girlfriend gave a brief nod of pride, and my eyes returned to Katt who seemed content not to say anything else. “So, if you guys are going shopping �" why did you come here? I am not carrying bags, baby. It’s not happening.”

She pursed her lips in disappointment, and then they moved to the side of her face before she bit down on her lip. “Yeah, well, actually… I was kind of hoping… that uh… your roommate could be Katt’s date.”

“What?” Katt and I spoke at precisely the same time, and I could tell the young woman had not been told this information ahead of time.

I laughed. “Lee? As someone’s date? Are you absolutely out of your mind? He won’t even come to the wedding, let alone as your cousin’s date?” Tamara looked as though she intended to argue, and I threw up a hand. “No, just… Lee! Lee, can you come into the main room for a second?”

A few seconds later Lee emerged with his brown hair looked messier than usual on top of his head from where he’d been lying. “What? Oh, hi, Tamara, and...” He moved to look at Katt, and his mouth seemed to skip like a scratched CD. “Uh… uh…”

“My cousin, Katt Mason,” Tamara said.

Katt’s face had flushed upon Lee’s appearance, and she was staring at her feet and fidgeting as though she might run. “W-well, Katherine… like…” She swallowed. “Some people call me Katherine. People who know me… call me Katt, sometimes. It’s… but it’s… it’s not on my birth certificate.”

Lee’s nod was slow, but Katt hadn’t looked up and so she didn’t see it. “Okay, well, Katherine.” He glanced back to me. “What did you want?”

Tamara beat me to it. “Katt is really shy, and she’s worried about this wedding. We have this really weird uncle who like… hits on us… in a creepy way, if we don’t have a date. So, I was really hoping that you might help Katt out and take her �" to the wedding.”

Lee’s eyes widened, and he said nothing for far longer than I’d expected. His mouth just hung open, and he stared at me, and then at Tamara �" going back and forth for far too many seconds. I just smiled.

He was spared the necessity of answering when Katt spoke. “Oh, no, it’s… no… Tamara’s being silly. We don’t… I mean… no. No, I’d rather go by myself. She’s just… she doesn’t… she didn’t ask me… she didn’t… so, I totally wouldn’t have come over here. No, just, no… it’s… totally fine.”

“I’ll take you.” Lee’s answer was abrupt, as though he’d only answered so that she would stop mumbling. The surprise of it actually jerked me out of my stance, though.

“You will?” she asked.

“You will?” I followed with the same question in a slightly more emphatic tone.

Lee cleared his throat, and he shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, sure… I mean, I didn’t want to go just for Calis, who will be fine without me, but if you need someone to be there with you, then whatever, I have nothing better to do.”

“I… I… I…” My eyes moved up and down as I tried to ensure that he hadn’t been apprehended by aliens and experimented on in the time that I’d answered the door to Tamara and Katt. “I…”

“Oh.” Her eyes were huge when she finally glanced across to him. They were bright blue, and the freckles on her cheeks looked faded as she blushed. “Uh… oh. Well, um… you definitely don’t have to. I-I can handle it on my own.”

“It’s fine. I’ll owe Calis a favor.” Lee seemed agitated, but I’d never seen him agree to anything that he didn’t want to do.

“Lee, thank you! Calis and I both owe you a favor!” Tamara moved across to him and put her arms around him. He didn’t hug her back, of course, but she didn’t mind. She pulled away and glanced to Katt �" or Katherine. “Come along, Katt. We need to find you a dress!”

“Right, uh…” Tamara was already dragging her to the door, but she did manage one glance back at Lee. “I… thank you, thank you very much…”

Lee looked away without bothering to respond, and I waited for the door to close before I turned on him. “What the f**k?”

“What? I wasn’t going to say no to Tamara.”

“I’m pretty sure you have said no to Tamara several times, including when she was sobbing hysterically and wanting a ride home, which was still a dick move by the way.” I crossed my arms.

A smile crossed his lips, but it didn’t come anywhere near his eyes. “I suggest you stop complaining and be happy that I am actually going to be there to buffer against Tamara’s ridiculous family.”

“I… yeah, I… okay. Sure.”

“So, I guess we can just go together to Tamara’s and go to the wedding from there? I really would rather not go to the trouble of getting this woman’s address.”

My mind was still trying to figure out why Lee had volunteered to go to the wedding at all, particularly after how adamant he’d been with me just a few minutes earlier. “Yeah, I’m sure that is Tamara’s plan.


“Well, great. I guess that settles that.” Lee took a breath and started back towards our dorm room. I watched his back, narrowing my eyes. I knew that I should be grateful, and I was, but I also wasn’t stupid.

I caught the door as he tried to slam it behind him, and I pressed my back against it as I entered our dorm area. “Is it because she’s a red-head?”

“What are you talking about?”

He picked up one of his notebooks and opened it. His voice was disinterested. “Well, I’ve speculated for a while now…”

“Please don’t start this again…”

“I mean, you seem to have a little bit of a thing for red heads, even if you are not dating for whatever reason, and it’s interesting that she happened to be a red-head. Also, she was pretty cute.”

His green eyes moved so that they were glaring at me in the way they glared at me when I’d struck a nerve. “Shut up, Tsrali. Just because your instant reaction upon meeting a girl �" or guy �" is to rate her upon a certain set of criteria doesn’t mean that’s how we all operate.” He shook his head. “Your girlfriend mentioned a creepy uncle, and I figured I ought to help.”

“You figured you… yeah, okay, of course you did.” I crossed my arms and my lips moved to the side of my face as I considered Lee’s change of mind. “I don’t size guys and girls up, by the way. I’m in a steady relationship now.”

“If that were true, then you wouldn’t have already informed me that Tamara’s cousin was pretty cute, and I saw you looking at her.”

I scoffed. “If I was looking, it was because she was stuttering. I wasn’t sizing anyone up �" especially Tamara’s cousin!”

He rolled his eyes and grabbed his jacket before kicking the soccer ball to one side of the room. “Come on. Let’s go get something to eat. I’m hungry, and I don’t want to give you too much time to come up with reasons why I’m in love with Katherine Mason.”

“You remembered her name,” I said. I grabbed my coat, though, as he started towards the door. “That’s fascinating.”

He shook his head as he glanced back at me upon opening the door. “I remember everything. You ought to know that.”

“You only remember things that are relevant to you.” I glanced back to my computer as I took another step towards the door. “Hey, hold on, one second.” There was no point. I knew there wasn’t �" just like there hadn’t been for two years.

Footsteps followed me back into the room. “It is relevant because she is going to be my date, so it’d be great to remember her name. Ah, right, the weird, unexplained obsessively checking his email. I’m not convinced you don’t live a double life, or you’re waiting for one.”

A screen saver gave way to the search bar of my internet browser before I navigated to my email page to an empty inbox. I bit down on my lip, double checking the junk folder before closing the computer. “I’m not one to turn down excitement. Come on, food?”

“Sure, weirdo.”

CHAPTER 2

We had been forced to go shopping, however, as Tamara had found a new dress, and she demanded that I match her. I didn’t mind, since she’d gotten a crimson dress, which meant I got to wear a crimson shirt �" which looked incredible on me.

Lee, on the other hand, was annoyed that he’d been roped into buying a dark purple shirt to go with his black pants. “I’ll buy you lunch a few times, and you can wear it again, it’s actually a good color on you.”

My eyes moved between the road and Lee’s disgruntled expression. “I can’t wear purple again. I… I cannot believe I bought the stupid shirt.”

“I can’t believe you did, either.” I glanced into the rearview mirror to get a quick look at my reflection. “The shirts are nice, though. You have to admit that.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re wearing what I presume to be your favorite color, and red looks good with blond hair. Purple, on the other hand, doesn’t look good with anything!”

I laughed. “I do look amazing �" that isn’t contestable, but you don’t look bad, either. And actually, purple goes particularly well with…” I paused for dramatic effect, and his frown deepened. “…red hair!”

“Say red hair one more time, and see if you don’t end up splattered on the road.” He leaned into the window and sighed dramatically. I shook my head and turned my attention back to the road.

We pulled up into Tamara’s driveway, a townhouse that her parents owned and had given to her without charge for her duration of her time in school. I honked the horn deliberately, and Lee nearly leapt out of the car. “Calis, you can’t just honk the horn. This is a date.”

“It’s fine.”

He opened the door in spite of my words, and he stepped out of the car. I made grunted my distaste as I glanced up at him from the driver’s seat. “Fine, go get them.”

His eyebrows raised, and he nodded his head. “Okay �" I will.” He started away from the door, and I slammed my hands into the wheel before I exited the car and followed him to the door. He’d just rung the bell when I moved beside him. “You decided to join me?”

“I hate you. I wish you hadn’t come.” He laughed.

Tamara opened the door. Her dress matched my shirt perfectly, and her hair was pulled up in curls with a flower decorating the binding. Her eyes narrowed when she saw us. “You better be glad you didn’t honk the horn again.”

Lee looked at me with a haughty expression, and I smiled. “I know, that was just Lee being a jerk.”

She smiled at me and glanced back. “Katt, are you coming?”

The sound that came from inside the house sounded definitively like Katt’s incoherent stuttering, and Tamara reached behind the wall to yank her forward. The purple did look good with her hair. The dress had one strap with a sparkling top layer. Her hair was curled and around her shoulders, and her heels made her legs look incredibly long.

“You two look nice,” I said. I smiled, and then my face twisted with confusion as I realized that I’d been the one to say that in Lee’s stead. I glanced over to him, and his eyes were slowly coming up from Katt’s legs to the top of her dress to her hair. “Don’t they, Lee?”

He jerked as though I’d cracked a whip near his ear, and he cleared his throat. “What? Yes, yes you do. Both of you.”

“I feel ridiculous,” Katt said. Her head was bowed, and she seemed unaware that despite their confidence levels she was currently putting her cousin to absolute shame. “B-but thanks for coming to get us!”

“Well, you look amazing,” Tamara said.

I guided them down the front steps and towards the car, and once they were walked towards it, I elbowed Lee hard in the side. He hissed at me, and we both opened the car doors on either side for the women. Tamara sat up front with me, and Katt and Lee sat in the back staring awkwardly out opposite windows.

Tamara began idle conversation before anyone else had the chance to do anything, and I kept my eyes on the two awkward idiots in the back seat as we started towards the wedding. Katt spoke after a few minutes, moving towards Lee. “Uh, you look great �" I’m sure that… I know… guys don’t like purple and pink and stuff, b-but… you look really cute… good. You look good.”

Lee looked at her as though she’d insulted his mother, and then he shrugged his shoulders in an absurdly rude motion. “Purple was fine,” he said before he turned back towards the window.

A smirk moved across my face, and it was well timed, as Tamara seemed to think I was smiling at one of the thousand words she’d said in the past minute. “I really appreciate you doing this,” Katt continued.

“I said it was fine,” Lee said.

“I know, but you didn’t have to. I mean, it’s really nice of you, and you bought a shirt. I can give you money for it?”

He glared at her again. “I said it wasn’t a big deal. I really don’t care. I’ll wear it again. It’s fine.”

She bit down on her lip and her hands wrenched together. “S-so… um… Tamara said you’re majoring in chemical engineering. That’s awesome. I-I’m actually majoring in electrical engineering.”

Lee turned to look at her, and he still looked angry. “Electrical? Great.”

“I guess I probably haven’t seen you since I’m only a sophomore and you’re a senior. Well, I… actually, I have seen you in the labs a few times, but… like… I mean I wasn’t staring at you, or… or anything weird like that. I just meant… I’d seen you. A couple times. But, well, what I meant was that you haven’t seen me, or-or we hadn’t met.”

He didn’t turn to look at her, but I saw one corner of his mouth twitch for a second. I couldn’t tell if it was upwards or downwards. “Right, no, I hadn’t seen you.”

My eyes slowly moved to Tamara with suspicion, and I realized that her prattling had slowed a bit. When our eyes met, she grinned wolfishly at me. “She knew him?” I mouthed.

Her nod was quick and brief, and she said a quick sentence about one of her cousins and the cost of the cake. “She likes him?” I mouthed again.

The nod was far more deliberate this time, and her smirk kept her from managing another unimportant bit of information about the wedding. I grinned as I looked towards the road. “So, Katt, what made you want to do electrical engineering?”

Tamara answered for her. “She’s insanely smart. She actually got a full ride. She’s the prodigy of the family.”

“I… well, no, I’m… I’m not actually.”

“If you got a full ride to major in electrical engineering, then you must actually be pretty smart,” Lee said.

The awkwardness was nearly enough to make me forget how much I was dreading the wedding. “You must be. So, surely, with all those engineering guys over there, you’ve had a lot of offers for dates, huh?”

Katt made an adorable squeak, and she shook her head. “No, no, I mean… I’m pretty invisible. I just… I just do my work, and that’s… that’s basically it. No guys for me. I mean… I mean… not… I…”

“Well, you’re very pretty. Isn’t she, Lee?”

He glared at me through the mirror, and his jaw clenched. “Pretty or not, I’m sure the people in the electrical engineering department are working hard on their degrees and not worrying about dating women.”

“Well, you can work on your degree and check out women if you’re smart enough,” I said. “And you do always say you’re smart.”

“If you have no interest in it, then it doesn’t really matter,” he said. His voice was slowly turning into a growl.

“Um…”

“Okay, but, hypothetically, if you were looking for it, and you saw Katt… what would your response be?”

His teeth were grinding together, and the smile on my face was obviously infuriating him. “I don’t really feel like dealing in hypotheticals if we’re being honest.”

“Well, it’ll be good for her image, as someone in the same field as her �" what do you think of her? I mean �" would you date her if you were looking to date someone? Just as an objective outsider.”

“I…”

“Oh, look, we’re here! The lights are so pretty! I’m really excited for Clarise. Her husband’s a great guy. Is his brother going to be there? That guy is really weird!” Katt had sat straight up in her seat, and her hands were clasped. Her face was glowing in the dark back seat of the car.

We weren’t actually there yet, but Lee did look as though he may lion-leap across the back seat and begin the slow process of clawing out my throat if I didn’t stop. “Yeah, lots of lights… Clarise always did know how to throw a party.” Tamara agreed, apparently.

“How did they meet, anyway?” I asked.

Lee’s sigh of relief was palpable, and I thought I noticed a grateful exchange between he and Katt before I turned to Tamara. “Um, work, I think? Clarise works as a researcher in some lab, and Camden had volunteered to be a lab rat. Super romantic.”

“That is a funny way to meet someone,” Katt said. Her own cheeks were slowly cooling, and she leaned towards her window to glance at the lights. “Still, it means they have a key something in common.”

My reply was near sing-song. “That is important, particularly in your field of work, for two people.” I could feel Lee’s glare without having to look at him.

Katt’s laugh was nervous, but she nodded her head. “Y-yeah, it is. I mean, it’s not… the most important thing there is, obviously, but it is… a nice… extra.”

“I remember Calis dated a girl who thought the ‘now I’ve said my abc’s part of the abc song were actual letters.” Lee leaned back in his seat, and I couldn’t help the smile that slowly started to form when I closed my eyes. “So, the mutual intelligence and interest level is definitely big for him.”

Tamara’s laugh was one, breathless laugh, and Katt bowed her head to try to keep from giggling. “Well, my philosophy professor tried to convince us that the abc’s were a social construct, and he encouraged us to come up with our own letters to express ourselves in the way we wanted to.” She glanced at her nails. “It would have been fine, except for he wanted us to do it outside of class. He showed us his own version, and I really think he just wanted it to catch on.”

The expression on Lee’s face had gone from smug to amused, and he smiled genuinely for the first time of the night. “You should have written your test in scribbles and told him that was your method of expression.”

Katt smiled back at him. “A couple people did that. He wasn’t particularly happy about it.”

An empty parking space presented itself, and I eased the car into it between two other cars. “We are officially here.” I pulled myself out of the car, quite proud of the lack of further disgusted remarks about where we were.

Tamara joined me a few seconds later, and we walked a little bit ahead of Lee and Katt, intentionally. “I can’t believe you pulled that off. You’re more devious than I give you credit for.”

She smiled and nodded her head. “Yes, I am. So, try not to insult anyone tonight, okay?”

“Is your gay cousin going to be here?”

Her lips pursed in immediate distaste. “Claude? Yes. He is, and it’s not a good start that you’re already saying gay like it’s a curse word. In addition, he isn’t gay, he’s bisexual �" there’s a difference.”

I smiled. “I said it that way because his being gay, or bisexual, is so far from the worst thing about him �" his abhorrent personality and stench come to mind. Also, what is even being bisexual? How about being indecisive?”

She rolled her eyes and shoved me. “He isn’t that bad, and there is nothing wrong with being bisexual, Calis. That’s like saying you’re indecisive because you like chocolate and vanilla ice cream equally.”

“Everyone has a favorite.”

“That’s just not true.”

“That is your opinion.”

The conversation had extended the entire parking lot, and we stood in front of the massive wooden doors that led to the church. The length of the wedding had been promised to be short, and I crossed my fingers that I hadn’t been lied to.

People milled about in the atrium of the church, and ushers eased us into the correct location after we told them we were here for the bride. I hated Tamara’s family, and yet somehow, they all seemed to have loads of friends. The church was packed, and there were still plenty of people outside.

Lee sat down next to me, and he whispered with a tone far more judgmental than I liked. “Nice. You know, insulting something doesn’t actually make you less of it.”

“Shut up.” My voice was a hiss, and I felt defensiveness rise in my throat like bile. “It was a joke.”

“You didn’t make that clear to anyone.”

Lee and I had become best friends when we’d spent freshmen year as roommates, and he’d realized I had a tendency towards men and women somewhere within our sophomore year. His personal mission had become to make me accept myself when he realized I had issues with it. “Look, it’s a nonissue.”

“Yes, it is. Obviously, Tamara has no problems with it whatsoever. She just got angry with you for saying something like that. If you can’t tell people who would accept you, then how are you going to get to the point where you could tell even people who didn’t?”

My lips were thin as I smiled at him. “Easy, I’m not actually ever going to do that. I like girls more. You know that, I know that… the ratio is like… thirty to one.”

“That’s because you’ve been trying to convince yourself of that fact.”

I closed my eyes and snarled at the memories that flashed in front of my face. “Lee, just back off and flirt with your red head. I assure you, I do not need your counseling.”

He sighed and pressed back against the pew we were seated in. Katt looked at the two of us worriedly for a moment, and then she turned her attention towards the empty front of the church. “It’s not because I’ve been trying to convince myself of anything,” I said. “It’s the truth. Remember Razor? Yeah, that was fun.”

“That was one bad experience. Calis, when are you going to stop being so obsessed with feeling like everyone has to see you as perfect?”

“When I stop being perfect,” I said.

“You’re about twenty-two years late, then, I’m afraid…”

Our irritated glares were interrupted by Tamara’s flailing hand. “It’s about to start. Will you two stop flirting?”

The ceremony started quickly, as the groom and groomsmen took their place at the front of that stage with the preacher. Music played, and I occupied myself by finding all the people who tried to discreetly pull out their phones.

I’d found six by the time we had to stand for the bride. She was a pretty girl with a fluffy white dress that I would have definitely vetoed if I’d been given the opportunity. Her hair looked more like flowers with a few strands of dirty blonde hair mixed into it. The smile on her face was genuine, and Tamara was teary eyed when we took our seats again.

I rolled my eyes in Lee’s general direction as the preacher began to tell us about the couple and the merits of love. A ghost of a smile past across his lips as he looked towards his feet upon the exchanging of the vows.

Eight phones before the bride and groom were halfway through the vows, and I kept my eyes searching the packed church.

“Love is patient, love is kind…”

My eyes stopped moving immediately. My head lifted slightly, and I leaned forward a little bit. Black hair, olive skin, leaned forward with his hand wrapped around two fingers from his other hand. No, no, that was impossible. I leaned back, and then I leaned forward again.

“It keeps no record of wrongs.”

There were too many heads blocking my view for a clear answer, but the beating in my chest was suddenly too hard. I kept inching forward �" trying to see his face, or more of his body, or anything that would make my heart stop pounding.

“Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease…”

Lee jammed his elbow into my side, and I looked at him. “What is the matter with you? Are you having a seizure?”

“I thought… I…” I pressed back into the pew. There was no way. That wasn’t possible. I was just delirious from boredom. I leaned forward again, and Lee’s frustrated glare pushed me back again.

The ceremony ended, and I leapt from my seat as soon as we were allowed. “Calis, where are you going?”

I pushed through the masses of people with no regard for Tamara’s annoyed question. I just needed to be sure. There was no way that it was who I thought it was. That was impossible, and I just had to confirm that so that my heart would stop racing. People surrounded me, pushing towards the exit of the church.

Everywhere I turned there was an old woman, or a child, or a matching couple. There was no one that could have been what I’d seen, though, and I kept pushing through people to find some evidence that I hadn’t made it up. Someone here had that hair and that skin.

Gray hair, white hair, red hair, black hair, but too long, brown hair, a thousand different bodies. I didn’t understand how so many people had fit into this church comfortably. Finally, I saw a flash of a white shirt, and I moved forward only to have my arm nearly ripped out of socket. “Are you drunk?” Tamara glared at me.

I turned to find Tamara, Lee, and Katt, all looking at me as if I’d gone a little silly. I shook my head and glanced back to the point in the crowd, but there was nothing of interest there anymore. “I… no, I just… I… I thought I saw someone I knew.”

“Okay, well, relax. There is a reception, and if you know someone, I’m sure they will be there. Now, stop storming around the church like a man possessed. You nearly knocked my grandmother down.”

My cheeks burned for a moment, and there was a sense of nausea at the continuing race of my heartbeat. I hadn’t felt it this fast in a long time. “Oh, I’m sorry. Don’t know… why I was acting like that.”

We started towards the exit. The reception �" maybe that person would be at the reception. Not him �" just a person that looked vaguely similar to him. My throat knotted as I followed the others towards the exit. Lee touched my shoulder. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s… everything’s fine. I was just looking for someone. Don’t make it weird.”

His eyebrows rose. “Me? I shouldn’t make it weird? You kicked a child over and nearly plowed down an old woman, and I’m making it weird by asking if you’re okay.”

“There were just a lot of people.”

“Okay, sure.”

The reception was in a separate building, but there was no driving required. My hands were sweating, though, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so uncomfortable. Tamara dragged me by the wrist because I’d refused to hold hands.

The reception was as full as the church, and the idea of it made me nauseous. I had to find that person, and I didn’t want to knock over more children to do it. “Don’t make that face, Calis. You’ve been dealing with them for six months �" try twenty-one years.”

I opened my mouth to explain that wasn’t the cause for my expression, but I shook my head. “You’re right. I am infinitely impressed at how well you’ve turned out.”

“Tamara!” I closed my eyes, and Lee turned his head to the older man that was approaching me from behind. “I just love the length of girls’ dresses these days. I can reach them.” He moved to grab the bottom of her dress, and I grabbed his hand before he reached it.

“Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”

He grinned up to me. “Ah, Calis! You two are still going strong, I see! I knew I liked you!” I nodded, and Tamara bit her lips inwards to keep from laughing.

The attention shifted from Tamara to Katt, and I could feel Lee bristle immediately. “Kitty Katt! Don’t you look adorable in that dress! I can tell Tamara must have helped you pick it up. You’ve never had the best fashion sense when you’re left on your own. When you were about six or seven, you used to wear sacks that you’d colored with markers. It was adorable!”

“Because we’ve all developed a refined palate for fashion by the tender age of six.” Lee’s voice was ice as he positioned himself conveniently in between Katt and the still nameless uncle.

He glanced up at Lee, and his eyes widened for a moment. “Kitty Katt, have you gotten yourself a boyfriend? And here I was thinking a girl like you would end up alone forever.”

Katt’s fists clenched, and before Lee could respond, she did. “If I ended up alone forever, then it would be my own choice. Lee is just a friend, so no, I still don’t have a boyfriend, and I’m not altogether looking for one right now, since I have a full scholarship to a nice college, and I’m maintaining a 4.0 GPA. Also, my name is Katherine.”

“Oh, Kitty Katt, don’t be so snippy all the time! You really will never find a boy if you keep talking like that. You can’t be so talking all the time. Boys don’t like that.”

Lee’s eyes were on Katt, whose fists were clenching so hard that I was starting to worry for her palms. “Okay, whatever, thanks for the advice, Ezekial. It’s great. I’ll take it to heart, just like you take everything I say to heart.”

“Well, I appreciate that, Kitty Katt. Are you ever going to dye that hair of yours, though? It’s just not pleasing on this old man’s eyes.”

Lee’s eye twitched, and I grabbed the back of his arm, speaking gingerly into his ear. “Just leave it alone. It’s not worth it. Dude is already halfway to drunk. Katt can handle it herself.”

The approach Katt had taken was to smile and nod her head at the man who had planted himself firmly in the middle of our group. “You know, I happen to think that’s why the divorce rates are becoming what they are. You got these women doing these crazy colors in their hair, and that just isn’t what a man wants to look at it.”

I gripped Lee’s arm as tight as I could without preventing circulation, and I sighed when he spoke. “Firstly…” Tamara and Katt both glanced at him. “The divorce rate probably has a great deal more to do with people like you who think that men or any partner at all can dictate what the other member of the relationship does. As if by entering the relationship, they have an obligation to please you, and if they don’t, then you have every right to end the relationship.” He took a breath. “Secondly, you’ve probably known Katherine from birth, on the off-chance you’ve not been drunk for a solid thirty seconds in twenty some years, then you should be aware that red is her natural hair color. Lastly, her name is Katherine �" stop inserting yourself where you aren’t wanted and f**k off.”

The man looked confused for a moment, and then he wandered back into the crowd without another word. Katt tried to keep from laughing, though Tamara made no such effort. “Wow, Lee, I’m really glad we brought you.”

Katt bit her lip as she looked up at him. “Thank you. I, uh… I appreciate it.”

Lee looked away, clearly wanting to forget that he’d ever started an argument �" if it could be called such �" at a wedding where he knew next to no one. “Whatever. He was annoying.”

“Agreed,” I said. I would have pestered a bit more if I hadn’t still been dealing with the racing heart rate caused from the glimpse of probably nothing during the wedding ceremony.

The exchange had lifted Tamara’s spirits, and she glanced at me sidelong. “You better ask me to dance tonight, just so you are aware.”

“You could always ask me,” I said.

That was a mistake, as it resulted in my being dragged onto the dance floor for two songs before I was able to navigate myself out of the situation. My escape would have come sooner if I hadn’t been using the vantage point to check the surrounding area for anyone familiar.

Lee and Katt had opted to stand awkwardly on the side of the dance floor, and I ventured back over to them under the excuse that my head hurt. Katt handed both of us punch when we arrived. “Apparently, Lee doesn’t dance,” she said.

“Lee doesn’t do anything fun. It’s against his religion,” I said. The punch was alcoholic, and I needed a downer to slow my heart rate, since there didn’t seem to be anyone at the reception that fit what I’d thought I’d seen. I drank it in one swig and set it on the table beside which they’d decided to stand. “That’s why I like to keep blackmail.”

A familiar glare pinned itself to my face, and I flashed Lee a quick smile. “I do plenty of fun things, just none of them dancing.”

“False,” I said. “Speaking of fun, there’s an open bar over there, and I am in dire need of something more alcoholic because Tamara’s mother is on her way over here.”

“Don’t leave me! Calis!”

I pretended not to hear the protest as I took Lee by the arm and guided him towards the bar. Lee glanced backwards to them, and I followed suit to find both women trapped beneath the hawk like stare of Tamara’s mom. “These people are rich. They should have something to get us both drunk enough to forget where we are.”

Lee shook his head. “Damn, I knew the family was bad, but that man was disgusting. Why did she let him openly insult her hair?”

The desire to tease him returned, but I let it wait until I had a little more alcohol inside of me. “He’s always an a*****e. His wife hates him, and yet they don’t get a divorce, I guess that’s what happens…”

I leaned over the bar to the bartender’s curious stare. “Do you happen to have whiskey?”

He nodded his head eagerly, and then he changed his eyes to Lee. “Gin and tonic’s fine. Thanks.”

We leaned on the edge of the bar, and I ensured that Tamara and Katt were still engaged in conversation with her mother. “At least we get free alcohol out of this deal.” I took slow breaths, encouraging my brain to stop reinventing the image from the church.

“True, are you okay �" seriously? You seem a little on edge.”

I nodded. “I’m fine. Just… her family makes me uncomfortable.” That was true enough, though when the glass of whiskey was placed before me, I threw it back in one quick motion and indicated I wanted more. “Really uncomfortable.”

“Apparently,” he said. He elected to take his drink much slower than I had.

The second shot burned my throat a little less, but I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head to fight back the sensation of it. “I knew you liked red hair. You went absolutely berserk once he insulted her hair.”

“He was insulting her,” Lee said.

“I knew you liked her,” I said. I could feel Lee’s judgment once I threw back the third glass of whiskey, but I didn’t have time to worry about it. My heart was finally relaxing, and logic was finally intervening to tell me that I’d confused the image in my head.

Lee shook his head. “I don’t like her. I mean, I obviously don’t dislike her, and I was surprised at how well she stood up for herself. That was impressive. She seemed so shy and… reserved, and then that.”

“Shy people will do that. You think they’ll just… take whatever you throw at them, and then it turns out… not so.” An image �" conjured by the fact that I still wasn’t over him �" the fact that I would never be over him because I’d let him walk out of my life without a fight. Every glance on the soccer field, every awkward pass in the hallways, I’d never fought at all. I’d let it happen.

Lee’s laughter felt distant. “Look at you, being all philosophical, usually all you can think about is sex after two glasses of whiskey.” My heart hammered as I recalled the feel of his wrist in my hand. The recollection was easy, since my heart had been pounding the same way as I chased him down the steps. I closed my eyes and grabbed the fourth glass of whiskey, staring into it for a moment before I looked back out into the crowd.

Bright, blue eyes, usually gentle, a fine layer of glass over a thousand emotions framed with dark, thick, lashes, a small, lithe build, stealing soccer balls like the other person was standing still, a smile that could stop your heart in your chest.

I’d lied awake a thousand nights and seen those dimples behind my eyelids �" the ones that only appeared when he was really smiling �" the tell whether or not he was faking. The other smile was hesitant, but warm �" if you didn’t know him it was easy to assume he was fine. Sometimes, even if you did.

One side of his mouth had the beginning of a dimple, and one of his fingers rested against the top of a half-full glass of alcohol as he nodded absently to a woman on his left. It wasn’t a memory �" it was real. I blinked when the sound shattered against my ears.