Prologue

Have you ever just stopped to think about the past? 

Like maybe I should have laughed a little louder, smiled a bit more.

Pushed a little harder.

Like maybe this isn't where I was suppose to be.

If this had happened instead, or if something just hadn't occured at all.

Would it have made a difference?

Today, would it have mattered?

----

But you can never know.

Because things already happened the way they did.

And you have to live every single day of your life wondering, could it have changed everything? 

----

It hits you deeply.

So f*****g hard you're left gasping.

That this is the way things are.

Forever. 

Because you can't go back and undo them.

You can't erase something just because the mere memory of it is horrid.

---

They're with you, always.

You can't just wake up one day and decide that the sky isn't blue.

Just like you can't wake up one day and decide every memory was just a nightmare.

---

"He's coming" says a hushed voice, interrupting my thoughts.

I turn my face towards the light shining underneath the door and wait for the next nightmare to begin.