Kawaii Kase

We as people judge our brothers and sisters in the Biblical sense! It must have an end !

Scarlet highlight wraps its self within the self-assured bow
Giving unsatisfied men who loathe sleeping with their wives, excepting she shall blow
Blow..
Blow...
Blow...
An apprehensive kiss
Heard from sources a loud and noticeable hiss
Upon the ancient lips

Tightly, shades of pink represent her servant suit
Smelling like kiwi fruit
Noticbly showing her water packed beasts
Uncomfortably contained
Yet unashamed
onto the cloth
the kawaii servant is held by a hungry sloth
A hungry sloth hugging its branches
Reveal their snakes from the ranch

ancient men take hold of her
Sharply invading a slur
"You are beautiful" they say
"Let's go have sex today!
Will $100 dollars be okay?"
The smell of beer
Comes near
"Come to papa , my dear!" Sleazy and drunk extending their hands far and wide.

Glossed And colored hair
Thinking it is only fair
To give the hungry men what they desire
For their patience was about the expire
the inferno in her eyes ignite fire!

Out to the back
They go
Remembered as a century ago!
The kawaii maiden has been here before
Opening the wooden door
Promised once, to be never seen no more
She within herself claims
Enraging with flames
This shall be the last
No need to revisit the lonesome past

Laughing for their to be done-stunt,
fingers take shape of a Scarlett colored brick
Eyes behind the maidens head
she attacks the I n full force holding a cemented stick
Below, tasting the poisoned ground of glass and dirt they see it....
A dick


"Am I still kawaii?"

Reviews

[Ania L]

Woah, and you are only 16? Very mature, and thought-provoking. This piece shows you are wise beyond your years. Very nicely done x

[Allen Smuckler]

....and you said you are how old? Really a very good write for anyone, but someone your age...outstanding
Great imagery (colorful, vivid ......alive)...and though no consistent pattern or meter, it flowed effortlessly. When you decided to use a particular rhyme scheme, it fit and flowed gently into the next one.
I loved it and yes, it made me feel something inside...
Thanks for this terrific write, Julie
allen

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

This poem comes in like an Anime girl with big wide eyes, then she turns into a crocodile and you realize this isn't going to be a Hello Kitty commercial. You take a terrific variety of very different perspectives in your writing and I love that. I think the line "smelling like kiwi fruit" is an especially good detail. I like lines in poems that don't try to be generic, but instead surprise you by being intensely specific -making you question where that idea is coming from. It is good to draw the reader in this way, to make them question. Force them to think...By the way is that "water packed BEASTS" or did you mean "water packed BREASTS?" I just wanted to ask that because clearly it alters the reading of the poem (thought, it may be intentional to call them beasts...don't know, are we on the same page?). "Sharply invading a slur," makes me picture the drunken Johns, speaking broken English instead of native Japanese. "Have sex ONE DAY" rhymes but I think it sounds wrong...just because the meaning isn't clear, do they mean later or now? It seems like they would be meaning NOW...but maybe this is the broken English! I like that you imagine the reasons she feels like selling herself. "As the inferno in her eyes light, fire" is a great line. I'm not sure you need the comma though, because it is just as effective to me without it. "Eyes behind the maiden's head" is more emblematic of a number of things than you might even have meant! I know that from when I was in England "Maidenhead" is a whole separate and complimentary meaning of its own. So she attacks them?! I love the story here!! She is a kawaii man? Wow, very clever!! Seriously, I am impressed. I think there are some tweaks here and there to do on the words and maybe a little more than I have mentioned, but your story and overall meaning is ingenious!! Very unexpected climax. The imagery is very strong and the symbolic meaning is even stronger!! Hone it, if you will, but don't lose the meaning. This is a brilliant piece!!!