IF EVER Chapter V

CHAPTER V

     The truth is not alway easy, especially when you can see that it will hurt someone that you love.  It definitely is the only thing that is real.  The alternative is false and meaningless, even if it does make life seemingly easier.  People are strong, and by large prefer fact over fantasy.  It clearly is ourselves that we seek to protect when we wander from the truth.

     Tommy sat by Charlotte the rest of the night.  Nothing was said.  Things had been good for the two of them the last few days.  It was over.  Things were different now.  Neither knew what was to become of themselves.  For him, the boring routine of life would be worse that it had been before.  He did not think he could go back to it.  Her long time endeavor to befriend Tommy was ended.  She had nothing to go back to, not even a father.

     Everything fell into place for Tommy.  All that he remembered of his father and what had been told to him by others made sense.  He now knew his father and realized the pain he had inflicted on others, especially his mother.  Some how Tommy understood, as his mother always had.  He had no hard feelings toward him.  He only felt sorrow.

      Tommy' father, Frank Sr. had been a good man and a hard worker in his earlier years.  He had been brought up by loving parents.  He was a successful entrepreneur when he met his future wife.  Times were good in those early 1900's years.  He eventualy got married and had two sons.  Together with his wife he was friends with eveyone in the community ofCandor.

     When Uncle Sam asked for volunteers to fight in the European War, Frank Sr., being a good citizen, enlisted.  He was gung-ho to fight for his country and its allies.  He said his good byes to his wife and two young sons, and with pride boarded thetrain for an adventure of a life time.

     After limited training he was shipped to France with his inexperienced unit to turn back the aggressive German Empire.  Almost immediately he realized that things were not as he had envisioned.  Food and other supplies were in short supply.  His unit had no protection from the elements, let alone  a change of clothes or adequate nutrition.  They were taught, that for the love of country and its freedoms they must do as told without question.  Frank Sr., being from a small Midwestern commuinity, could better cope with the hardships they faced than some of the others in his unit.

     Frank's peers respected him for his abilities and attitude in the face of adversity.  His superiors felt fortunate to have a man such as Frank under their command.  He was willing to volunteer for any assignment and was an apparent hero in the making.

     A couple of months passed.  Frank was one of the lucky ones to receive mail from home, most did not.  His loving wife had written at least twenty letters and there were a few from his parents and otherfriends.  One of these letters was extremely disturbing.  It went as follows:

 

          Dear Frank,

          I miss you very much.  I hope you are well. 

          I maybe should not be writing this, but you know I have

          always loved you.  You must know that you married the

          wrong woman.  I am the one that loves you and will wait

          forever to be with you.  Your wife has been consorting with

          other men in your absence.  She does not love you the way

          that I do.

          Please remember me when you lie down at night.  I wish the

          best for you always.

          Sincerely with love,

          Francine Wilmont

 

     Frank knew this woman, and knew that she had previously tried to breakup his courtship with his wife.  He had absolutely no interest in her.  But, being so far away from home, for such a long time, he was bothered by her words.  "Your wife has been consorting with other men."  He knew his wife, but in the dire conditions of war, his mind would not release the disturbing thought. 

     Within days of the mail call, Frank's unit got word that the enemy was advancing on their position.  They were instructed to hold their ground at all costs.  Frank was neither afraid or worried.  He had faith in his unit's ability to handle any challenge.  He was wrong.

     The Germans attacked in full force, using every type of warfare at their hands.  The American causalities were great.  Frank was in he middle of the action.  He saw many friends fall that day.  It was hard for him to accept the fact that good men could lose their lives in such a desolate, war torn part of the world.  It was so far from home and so final for these fragile beings.

     None the less they held on to their position.  Night fall came.  It was a long and sleepless night.  Just before dawn, he heard yelling amongst the ranks to his left.  At first he could not make it out.  Then a feeling of panic came over him as he heard the word "GAS!".  The Americans were retreating with no organization.  They were just running o avoid the mustard gas.  He followed suit.  They were being pickoff at an alarming rate by gun fire.  Frank found an uninhabited foxhole and dove in it for safety.

     He could smell gas.  It was getting stronger.  He began to cough and choke.  He heard footsteps on the ground above.  It was all he could do to repress his cough.  His throat was buning with a dry, hot sensaton.  With each breath it felt like someone was reaming his throat with sandpaper.

     A person appeared above him.  Or was it a person.  It looked like a monster.  He knew it must be an enemy soldier wth a gas mask.  He could hear it breathing, ehh, huh, ehh, huh.  It was dark in the hole.  He struggled not to cough.  He could not help it he cleared his throat.  The figure starred directly at him for about ten seconds, which seemed like an eternity.  All of a sudden there was a rifle pointing at him.  He let go an exhausting cough followed by choking sounds as if he was throwing up.  The soldier hesitated a moment the simply walk on.

     Frank crawled out of his hole several hours later and after a long walk in a direction that he guessed to be correct, managed to find what was left of his unit.  His lungs were still on fire, and if it was not for his instinct to survive, he could not have made it.

     He was taken behind he lines and spent two weeks in inhalation therapy.  His health would never be the same, but he was deemed ready for action and shipped back to the front line.  During this time in the make-shift hospital he made a good friend, Robert.  Robert was sent back tothe front at the same time as Frank.  They continued to strengthen their friendship.

     One day, along with Robert and his new unit, they were ordered to push the Germans out of a small French village.  War is not kind.  Robert was shot and killed in the advance on the village.  Frank held him in his arms for the last minutes of his life.

     It was a tougher job than they hd expected.  Night came.  They were marching on.  Frank came to a foxhole.  He could vaguely see a shivering man lying in the bottom.  He starred at the soldier for about ten secounds, which seemed like an eternity.  He raised his gun and shot the man in the head.  He hesitated a moment then simply walked on.

     When Frank Sr. returned home he could not mentally handle the things that he had seen in the war.  He drank excessively.  His wife knew he was changed and sympathetically understood his torment.  Francine Wilmont had married Amos Hansbury.  Without love, Frank in his mental state, acted in an unwise manner and fathered a child with Francine.  Amos knew nothing of this at the time.

     Frank believed Amos was out to get him for his indiscretions.  The truth was, Frank was continually getting himself into trouble wth his drinking and fighting.  Amos, being the sheriff, had no choice but to lock Frank up on numerous occasions.

     One night Frank was especially disorderly.  Amos attempted to calm down the situation.  Frank pulled a pistol that he carried to protect himself from his imaginary demons.  He fired at Amos missing him, in his drunken condition, by inches.  He pulled the hammer back for  second shot.  Amos already had his revolver out.  With great remorse Amos shot Frank.  He did not intend it to be fatal, but his lack of experience and the speed with which the incident occured, caused it to be so.  Amos's life was changed forever.  Mrs. Bernard never held blame.

     The early morning was bright and beautiful.  It seemed to change things slightly.  Tommy knew that he and Charlotte had to return home.  People were worried.  He stood up and offered his hand to help Charlotte to her feet.  She took his hand and stood with her head hanging.  Their eyes did not meet.

     "We better get back."  He said.

     "Back to what?"  Charlotte asked.  "I don't have anything to go back to."  She felt like crying, but she did not have anymore tears.  "I don't have anyone."

     "You have a brother."  He embraced her.  "I love you, Charlotte.  I always will.  I don't know, somehow we'll make it though this together."

     She was very weary from the lack of sleep.  They walked slowly back to town.

     When they got back to town, Chubby was there to meet them.  It was odd, but he sensed something was different and seemed to have human compassion.  He walked along side of the pair as they dragged through the dusty streets hanging on to each other.

     Tommy took Charlotte to his house, where his mother put her to bed.  The word spread quickly.  Amos was there just as Tommy sat down at the table.

     Tommy could see that Amos was also a changed man.  He was not that usual hard-hearted, red-faced person.  Maybe it was because he no longer had the burden of a lie to live with.  Tommy did not really care.

     "You found her Tommy?"  Amos was excited.  "Is she ok?"

     "She's going to be fine."  Tommy answered.

     Mrs. Bernard came out of the bedroom and demanded that they keep quiet.  She explained Charlotte's condition to Amos.  She was just very tired and could not be disturbed.  Amos left after a short while full of thanks for Tommy and his mother.

     "I was worried about you kids.  Amos told me the whole story last night."  Tommy's mother was sympathetic.

     "What is the whole story?"  Tommy inquired.

     "Your father was very confused and troubled when he came home from the war.  I knew that he had not been faithful to me.  I didn't know who with.  I've had to live with that and Amos had to live with his secret.  Amos's wife told him on her death bed that Charlotte was not his daughter, but he raised her as his own anyway.

     "I can see now why Amos was so upset about Charlotte and I."  Tommy remarked.

     "Yes.  Amos could never have any children of his own and he knew that.  His love for Charlotte is as great as any parents' for their child.  He has done a good job in raising her.  She's a fine young lady."  Mrs. Bernard stood behind Tommy with aged hands on his shoulders.  "How about you Tommy?  Are you alright?"

     "I'll make out.  I'm worried about Charlotte though."

     "She'll be ok.  She's young and she hs alot of people who love her.  She has the two of us."

     "Yes she does."  Tommy replied in a dispirited tone.

     "I'm very proud of you, son."  She hugged him around the neck from his backside.

     Everything was destined to get back to normal, except for Tommy and Charlotte.  Their lives had been changed forever.  Charlotte slept the rest of the day and through the night.  Tommy worked at the store that day but retired early that evening.  It had been  long two days.

     Charlotte rose early the following morning.  She announced that she was going home and left with a casual good-bye to Mrs. Bernard.  She said nothing to Tommy.

     It was a Saturday.  This was normally the busiest day of the week, so Tommy had plenty to keep him occupied at the store.  But, his mind was not on work.

     Amos came in early that afternoon.  Mrs. Bernard was busy taking care of another customer.  Tommy asked the large sheepish looking man, "Can I help you with something, Sheriff?"

     "No.  I just came by to thak yo again Tommy for finding my little girl."

     "I'm glad we did find her.  I wish you could have told me what was going on before we got mixed up in this whole thing."  Tommy reflected.

     Amos looked extremely embarrassed and Tommy could see that it had not been easy for him either.  He understood what Amos must have went through all of these years.  It was a very unfortunate situation that shoud have been resolved years ago.

     "Hey, I'm sorry I hit you the other day."

     Rubbing his nose, Amos conceded, "Don't worry about it.  It's all forgotten."

     They smiled at one another.  It was one of the first times he could remember ever seeing Amos smile.  His grin looked silly but it made Tommy feel good.

     "I do have a problem that you might help me with."  Amos confessed.  "Charlotte won't talk to me.  She needs someone to talk to.  Could you do that for me?"

     "You bet, anytime.  I'd be pleased to do that."

     The sheriff thanked him again and left.

     A short while later, Tommy saw Chubby out in the street in front of the store.  He grabbed a licorice stick and a handfull of rock candy and went out to greet him.  Before Chubby notice him, he called out,  "How ya doin' buddy?'

     Chubby turned and simply murmured, "Huh?"

     "Come on over here and have a licorice stick."  Tommy said holding the morsel out.

     What's da trick, ugly?"  Chubby asked.

     "No trick.  I thought you might want some candy."

     He cautiously approached.  Reaching out quickly he grabbed the licorice stick and jumjped back a couple of steps.  Tommy had never looked at Chubby up close.  He was dirty but kind of cute, in his own way.

     Chubby tore a small piece off of the stick and threw it to his dog.  He watched the dog devour it.  Then, he proceeded to stuff his mouth while he skipped away.

     Tommy called after him, "Wait.  I've got some rock candy for you too."

     Chubby made a slow half circle and returned to Tommy.  He stood in front of him with his left hand out.  Tommy placed the candy in his hand.  Chubby stuck his right hand out offering to shake.  Tommy took his small hand in his own and shook.

     Chubby took off and then turned with a confused but sincere look on his face.  He said, "Thank ya Tommy."

     Tommy could only smile at the manners of this small friend and gentleman.  Evidently, no one had ever taken the time to talk to this youngster, not even his own father.  He felt sorry, very sorry for him.

     That evening, when Tommy and his mother were finishing their supper, there was a knock at the door.  Tommy answered it.  Charlotte stood there with a packed suitcase.  She would not say a word to him.

     "Come in Charlotte."  He invited.  He could see that she was very cold towards him.  Her whole attitude was icy.

     She stepped into the house and addressing his mother, Charlotte inquired, "Can I stay here for a few days,  Mrs. Bernard?  I don't have any other place to go."

     "You know you're always welcome here."  Mrs. Bernard replied.  "Why can't you stay with your father?"

     "I just can't.  He's not my father.  He's been lying to me all these years."

     "You know he really loves you, dear."

     "I don't know.  I need some time.  I need to get away.  I didn't have any other place to go."

     "Does he know where you're at?  We don't want to worry him."

     "Yes."  Charlotte stated.

     "You can stay as long as you like.  Put your things in this room."  Mrs. Bernard instructed, showing her the way to the spare bedroom.

     Charlotte walked right by Tommy without acknowledging his presence.  She was very melancholy.  Tommy was concerned with her dismal attitude.  She went into the bedroom and that was the last either of them saw her that evening.

     The next morning was Sunday.  Tommy was waiting for Charlotte when she awoke.  He had risen early and had prepared a picnic lunch.  She came out in her housecoat, and was not ready for his cheery nature.

     "Get ready it's time to go."  Tommy told her.

     Charlotte still could not look Tommy in the eyes.  Without saying a word she made herself ready forthe day.  He waited patiently.  When she entered the room where he was waiting she was wearing a very pretty dress.  He had never seen her in a dress.  She was exceptionally femine.  He knew better than to let his past emotions resurface.  Instead he felt proud to have such a lovely sister.

     "Come on.  We're going on a picnic."

     He grabbed her arm and escorted her out the door.  She followed without hesitation.  Tommy commented on the nice morning.  Charlotte said nothing.  They walked down to the apple tree on the creek.

     They just sat in the shade of that old apple tree for some time with nothing being said.  He knew she was very troubled.  He wanted to help her.  He was not sure how to start, but he did his best.

     "Charlotte you're the best sister that I could ever hope to have."  He paused.  "We both have to learn to live with that.  I know it's not easy."

     Charlotte, now looking at him, with a tear in her eye said.  "I don't think I can live with it."

     "Yes, you can.  We can be the best of friends.  We'll always be close to one another.  I know, maybe not the way we once thought we could, but in other ways.  This is a new thing for both of us.  You've never had a brother.  It won't be long and we'll be arguing and fighting like all brothers and sisters are meant to do."  He grinned.

     She smiled slightly.  "I wanted more.  More than just a brother.  Someone that I could talk to and spend time with."

     "What do you think we're doing now?  You're stuck with me and I'm always going to be around whether you like it or not."

     "Oh Tommy, just be there when I need you that's all I ask.  I feel so alone.  I need somebody."

     They spent the entire day together.  The conversation got lighter and happier as the day progressed.  They had a wonderful day getting to know each other.  It was a bond that many siblings never achieve, but then most siblings have never had the opportunity to share the things that they had shared.