IF EVER Chapter IV

CHAPTER IV

    Love comes in many types and dimensons.  Each person needs it in at least one form or another.  Whether it is the love for a child by its mother or the young tender love between a boy and a girl, it must be nurtured in order to be lasting.  Those who have love need to understand its satisfactions, whether they are false or not, in order to insure their own existence.  Love can be a wonderful and enchanting pleasure or it can be equally as horrible.

     The day was a carbon copy of the previous one.  Each day was.  There was not a cloud in the sky.  The thermometer would reach one hundred and the winds would blow as the day progressed. There was little variety and little relief.

     Tommy started the day as he did all others.  Opening the store early and doing the routine chores before his mother arrived.  To him, the day was different in one repect.

     The evening before gave Tommy a new fresh outlook on life.  He had come to know a new and exciting person.  Charlotte had shown him that life could turn around and be good even when things seemed the bleakest.  He was happy.

     Charlotte had not slept much during the night.  When she did, she dreamed of Tommy.  He was her handsome prince and was all that was on her mind.  For her, things could not be any better.  The thought of them being together gave her complete satisfaction.  She came into the store early that morning.

     Tommy was glad to see her.  With cheer in his voice he greeted her.  "Good morning Charlotte."

     "Hi Tommy."  She replied.  "Don't worry.  I'm not going to bother you this morning.  I thought I'd stop by and just say hello."

     "You can bother me anytime.  I was kind of hoping you might stay awhile.  We didn't get a chance to talk very much last night."

     "I had a wonderful time."  Charlotte beamed.  "I'm sorry about the crying.  I just couldn't help it."

     "That's fine.  I had a good time too."  Tommy admitted.  "Maybe we could do it again.  If you want to.  You know, just talk and....you know what I mean."

     "It was lovely down by the old apple tree.  Wasn't it?"  She did not wait for him to answer.  "I'm so happy Tommy."

     "Can I get something for you?  A drink, maybe?"

     "No.  I don't care for anything."  She answered with a pretty smile on her face.

     Mrs. Bernard arrived at the store then.  She was pleased to see Tommy and Charlottte talking. It was not too hard to tell that they admired each other alot.  She was happy for her son with his new found companion.

     Seeing that they wanted to talk alone, Mrs. Bernard suggested that Tommy should take a break from work.  "It's a nice morning.  Why don't you sit outside for awhile?"

     Tommy and Charlotte went out and sat on the bench in front of the store.  He held her soft smooth hand.  "You know, I'd like to leave Candor someday."  He told her.  "I'd like to go to a bigger city.  I don't know for sure what I'd do, but I'd find something.  There's nothing here."

     Charlotte felt kind of bad.  She had never imagined leaving her home.  She did not like to think of Tommy leaving her behind just when their relationship had started.  But, she listened to his story.

     "Maybe I could work on a ship.  I'd like to see some of the world.  Did you know that in Australia everyone speaks english?  They have large cities and small towns.  There's mountains and flat plains good for farming or ranching.  They have miles of ocean shore line for swimming and fishing.  Their climate is mild.  The seasons are opposite ours."  He chuckled.  "Best of all they have kangaroos.  I'd like to go to Australia."

     Charlotte asked, "What about me?"

     "Maybe you could go with me."

     She was glad.  At least he had not forgotten about her.

     "We could visit Africa.  We'd swim in the Nile River the first day.  The second day we'd hunt lions and then elephants."

     "Tommy, you're a big dreamer."

     "I know, but it's fun to think about it.  Wouldn't it be great?"

     Chubby was coming down the street, heading directly for them.  He was holding something black in his hand.  Tommy dreaded the moment.

     "How ya doin' ugly?"  He asked Tommy.

     "Get out of here Chubby.  We're busy."  Tommy ordered.

     "Hey, what's the matter with you guys?  Are ya in love?  Yuck.  That makes me sick.  I think I'm gonna puke."

     "It's none of your business."  Tommy stated.  What have you got in your hand?"

     "A damn mudball.  Pa learned me how ta make em."

     "What are you going to do with it?"

     "I'm gonna throw it at a big ugly puke."  He said as he cocked his arm back.  "Turn round.  I wanna hit ya in the butt."

     Tommy stood up and took a step towards Chubby.  "If you throw that, I'll whip you harder than your father ever did."

     Chubby let the mud ball fly.  He missed his target, but hit Charlotte in the chest with a big splat.  She stood up and looked at her blouse covered with slimy mud.  Chubby took off running and hollering, "Wait for me.  I'm gonna make me another one.  I'll be right back."

     Tommy took out his handkerchief and started wiping mud off of the front of Charlotte's blouse.  It was not a flat surface.  He stopped and handed her the handkerchief.  "Here, you better do it."

     She laughed at his blushing face.  "I'd better go home and change.  I'll see you later Tommy."

     "Goodbye."  Tommy blurted.

     He was so mad at Chubby that he could have killed him.  It was beyond him how a kid could be so mean.  And, it was not just on occasion, but all the time.

     Tommy went back into the store and got back to work.  His mother was busy rearranging the front window display.  He helped her with that and then started wiping dust off the canned goods.

     Chubby did return later.  He did not have anymore mud balls though.  He did not come in the store either.  He never did.  He was afraid of being cornered.

     Watching him from the window, Tommy saw him playing with a dog.  He patiently labored, tieing a small rope around the end of the dog's tail.  Then he made a loop on the other end of the rope.  He pulled it up tight between the dog's legs and put the loop around the animals head.  He poked him with a stick and had great fun watching the poor dog run in circles snapping at its own tail.

     The man at the filling station came out and attempted to stop Chubby from tormenting the dog.  Just as if Chubby had planned it, as the man approached, Chubby gave the dog a hard jab with the stick and the animal turned around under the feet of the man.  The man went head over heals.  The dog finally got loose and both he and Chubby ran off.

     That afternoon was hot and windy, as they all were.  Tommy was busy with things in the store.  He had his back to the door and did not see Amos coming in.  When he heard the door he turned to look.  He, at first, thought Amos had came in for his usual pouch of tobacco and maybe some candy.  That evidently was not the case today.

     Amos was mad.  It was not hard to tell.  His sweaty face was as red as Tommy had ever seen.  Mrs. Bernard was at the counter.  She greeted him and asked if she could help him.  Without saying a word, he headed directly for Tommy.

     "I heard all about your escapade last night.  Just what in the hell do you think you're doing?  I told you I wouldn't warn you again to stay away from Charlotte."

     Defensively Tommy replied, "I think alot of Charlotte.  She's old enough to make her own decisions.  I don't see anything wrong with us being friends."

     He grabbed Tommy by the front of the shirt and pushed him up against the shelves.  "You worthless b*****d!  You're no better than your old man."

     Tommy without thinking, maybe by reflex, let Amos have it full force with a fist to his nose.  Amos lost his grip and stumbled backwards over a barrel of merchandise.  He landed face down on the floor.

     Mrs. Bernard was over there by this time.  She screamed.  "What's going on!  Tommy what happened?"

     "I don't know what's wrong, mom.  He came after me like a mad bull."

     Amos slowly climbed to his feet.  His face was covered with blood from his nose.  He mumbled with a handkerchief over his mouth,  "I'll kill you kid, just like I did your no good father.  I wasn't afraid of him and I'm not afraid of you.  I'll kill you if you don't stay away from her!"  He turned and left the store with his head hanging in his bloody handkerchief.

     Tommy had never seen his mother so upset.  She clung to his arm.  Her whole body was shaking.  Speechless she glared at the large man leaving the store.

     Infuriated by what had just happened, Tommy vowed to his mother, "I won't let this happen again.  He can't say things like that in front of you."

     Mrs. Bernard let go of his arm and sat down on a chair by the old stove in the middle of the store.  She was pale and appeared to be in shock.

     Walking over to his mother, Tommy was confused.  Why was the sheriff so irrational when it came to the idea of Charlotte and himself being friends.  He was determined to find out.

     Things got back to normal at the store as far as business went.  But, Tommy and his mother were not feeling normal.  They did not talk about what had hppned with Amos, even though it was the only thing on both of their minds for the rest of the day.

     That evening after supper, Tommy sat thinking of Charlotte and her father.  He had to do something to make things right.  Charlotte had not come back into the store that day.  This did not surprise him.  He knew that the sheriff's feelings were probably conveyed to his daughter.  Hopefully not as strong as they had been conveyed to himself.  Charlotte had become a very important part of his life.  A part that he could not easily give up.  He made up his mind that the next morning he would get the answers to the questions that he had.

     When he lay down that night, he found himself thinking of Charlotte more than of her father.  She was most certainly an intriguing person.  Her warmth and affection were tremendously compelling.  He found himself comparing her virtues with those of his past love.  He was angry with the later for leaving him, but her beauty and charm did surpass any that he had ever known.

     The next morning was typical, at least for this time and place.  Tommy waited for his mother to arrive at the store before he engaged in his mission of finding some answers.  Mrs. Bernard seemed to have reverted back to her old self.  She had a few extra chores that she needed help with before he could leave the store.

     When they had finished with their dual tasks, Tommy asked his mother, "I have an errand to run.  Mind if I leave for awhile?"

     As mothers almost always do she inquired, "Where are you off to?"  She was a little apprehensive after the previous day.

     Tommy had made his mind up, he would confront Amos.  He was sure of himself and had nothing to hide.  "I'm going to talk to the sheriff."

     This was all it took to upset his mother.  She advised, "Tommy, I don't think that's  very good thing to do.  At least not right away.  I have absolutely no idea why Amos was so angry yesterday, but I think somethings are just better left alone."

     He explained, "Mom, I have to do something.  I don't understand either, why he wants me to stay away from Charlotte.  I like her and I can't just give up.  At least not without knowing why."  He suspected that the sheriff's dislike for him stemmed from a characteristic of his father's.  He did not want to admit this to his mother, but felt that if he was given the tme, he could convince Amos that he was not like his father.

     Mrs. Bernard was not going to back down from her son.  She was, in her mind, only trying to protect him.  A true mother-son conflict may have ensued, if it were not for the event of Amos Hansbury entering the store.

     When she saw him in th doorway, without hesitation, she ran towards him with broom in hand.  "Stay out of here, Amos!  I don't want another scene like yesterday."

     She was blocking his passage with the broom, horizontally at her chin.  It was against his chest, and would have had little effect if it had not been for Amos's non-aggressive state.

     Tommy was quick to follow his mother to the front entrance.  He too, was expecting the worst.

     Amos warded they off.  "Hold it!  Back off you two.  I need your help."

     They both could see that Amos had something on his mind that was more important than what had happened the day before at the store.  He appeared, both mentally and physically, like a whipped pup.

     Tommy asked with authority, "What's wrong?"

     "It's Charlotte.  She's gone."

     "What do you mean she's gone?"  Tommy instantly forgot about his planned confrontation with the sheriff.

     "She's missing.  She ran away."

     Taking a step towards him, Tommy demanded an answer.  "What did you do to her?"

     "Nothing. I would never do anything to her."  His sincerity was evident.  "We had a talk last night and she walked out."

     "She's been gone since last night?"  Mrs. Bernard asked.  "Why didn't you get help to look for her?"

     "I thought she would come home.  She didn't.  I don't know what to do.  I thought maybe Tommy might have an idea where she could be."

     Everyone forgot about their differences.  They had to concentrate on the problem at hand.  Tommy fet that somehow he might be to blame for her disappearance.  Maybe he should have talked to her father before things erupted.  He was very worried for Charlotte's well being.

     The three of them decided they would need more help to search the town and surrounding area.  It was inconceivable that Charlotte might have traveled to a neighboring town, but Amos was to check anyway.  He also had the duty of finding volunteers for the search.

     They agreed to set up a headquarters at Bernard's Merchantile.  Mrs. Bernard would remain there at the store to receive any information from those searching.

     Tommy, not having any idea where Charlotte may be, was determined to start the search on his own.  He felt that he may be one of the only people that could talk to her, especially if she was angry with her father.  He started by circling the outer boundries of the town, calling her name as he proceeded.

     Several people joined in the search of the town.  The word was spread to the others.  Tommy kept widening his circumference around the town.  The rural area was not that difficult to cover.  There was very few places that a person might not be exposed to sight during the daylight, except along the creek.

     Late afternoon Tommy caught a ride back to the store to see if anyone else had had any luck in finding Charlotte.  No one had.  It would be dark soon.

     While Tommy was busy talking with his mother, Chubby came to the door.  He had an old scraggly dog with him.  The same dog he had tormented the day before.  No one knew who it belonged to.  It jut kind of hung around town.

     "How ya doin' ugly?"  Chubby asked Tommy.

     "Not now Chubby.  I've got other things on my mind."  Tommy responded.

     Chubby kept talking as Tommy talked to his mother trying to figure out where Charlotte might be.  No one listened to him rattle on.

     "See this ol' hound dog here?"  He's got a hell of a powerful nose, I tell ya.  I took 'im over ta the sheriff's garden where that pukey girl friend of yer's been workin' an he follered her stink ta the crick.  I tell ya she went up that damn crick."

     "Get out of here, Chubby!'  Tommy ordered.  "Can't you see that we're busy?"

     Chubby took off yelling,  "We gotta go rout us a damn rat anyhow."

     The searchers continued for the rest of the daylight hours to no avail.  After dark everyone gave up, except for Tommy.  He was checking areas that had been covered earlier.

     Tommy stopped at home to see if his mother had heard anything.  Amos was there.  He looked terrible.  Tommy felt sorry for him, but he too was tired and very worried about Charlotte.

     Almost immediately, he left to continue his self-appointed obligation.  His moher wanted him to give up for the night.  Amos was secretly glad that someone, even though not himself, was willing to continue.

     Tommy walked in the dark for over an hour.  He realized that his time was probably being wasted.  The whole area had been searched already.  He could not see anything in the shadows of the night and if Charlotte did not want to be found or worse, if she was hurt, his efforts would be fruitless.  Never the less, he could not give up.

     About mid-night he stopped and sat on the boardwalk outside their store.  He was out of ideas.  Where could she be?  Why would she have run away?  He did not know.

     Besides his mother, Charlotte was the most important person to Tommy.  He thought of her gentle manner and the way she had won a spot in his heart.  He felt that he needed this person for his own survival.

     She was so pretty and full of youthful energy.  Their first romantic meeting down by the apple tree on Candor Creek was a turning point in his life.  He had been so excited that the two of them could share their thoughts with each other.  He laughed when he remembered himself trying to wipe the mud off of her blouse.  That Chubby was quite a character for such a young age.

     All of a sudden he could hear what Chubby had said that afternoon.  Charlotte went up the creek.  What would make Chubby say that?  Charlotte had told Tommy of a place she used to go when things troubled her.  Up the creek in the hills several miles from town.  He knew where she was!  She just had to be at this place.

     Tommy ran to the creek and then slowed to a fast walk as he followed the dry waterway out of town.  He walked a mile or two without looking back.  He was sure of his notion.  There was no other place that she could be.

     It was still over a mile to the bluff and it was late, but he knew that he had to continue.  His hunch was getting stronger the farther that he went.

     Tommy was convinced that he would find Charlotte when he reached the bottom of the hills.  There was no other place that she could have gone on foot.  They had searched the whole area in and around town.

     Walking was getting tougher, as the creek winded its way through the narrow passages of the hills.  The steep embankments on both sides of the creek were eight or nine fet high.  He must be getting close to the spot that Charlotte had described to him.  It was definitely secluded.

     This had to be the place.  He saw an oak tree overhanging the creek just ahead.  He heard a rustling noise in the brush in the dry creek bed.  Stopping to listen he thought he saw the outline of a person in the dim light.  "Charlotte?"  He called out.

     A voice rang out.  "Go away Tommy."

     He knew it was Charlotte.  He approached her.

     She dashed out from the brush and ran upstream away from him.  He followed calling for her to stop, but she kept running.  Just before he could catch up to her, she tried to climb the side of the creek.  She almost made it, but he was close enough to get a hold of one of her legs pulling her back down.  She slid to the bottom.  Giving up her attempt to escape, she sat motionless.

     He stepped closer to Charlotte.  He put his hand on her shoulder. She twisted and jerked her upper body avoiding his touch.

     "What is the matter, Charlotte?"

     She did not answer.  Her face was in her hands.  Tommy could tell that whe was more angry than she was sad.

     "It can't be that bad."  He paused, then continued.  "If it's your father, don't worry, we can..."

     Charlotte interrupted.  "He's not my father!"

     "Don't say that."  He instructed in a gentle tone.

     "You don't understand!"  She screamed.  "He's not my father!  Your father was my father."

     Tommy knew what he had heard, but astonished he asked, "What did you say?"

     Shaking and crying now, Charlotte explained,  "Tommy, you are my brother."