Bleak Desire

written for the poetry and lyrical challenge group

You hurt me
I hurt you,
That was something
I had to do

My bleak burning desire
to kill you,
is eventually something I'm
going to succumb to.

You tortured me
you teased me,
you used me
and abused me.

You set me up
to fail this time,
but let me tell you
vengence is mine.

I feel this need
to end your life,
because you almost
ended mine

You ripped out my heart,
stomped on my soul,
"Thing's will get better"!,
were the lies i was told

Low and behold
it got worse,
luckily i wasn't the one
in that hearse.

It was you
i wish you well,
may you burn and rot
in HELL!

YOUR POSSE WILL BE NEXT!

Author's Note

enjoy

Reviews

[St.Jimmy]

the poem is really really outstanding
but I feel that the poem shows more cursing and less the emotions of a heart break
the words like "kill" and curses like" may you burn and rot in hell" makes the poem scary and raging.......... huh?
It's good to curse someone in the poem to a little extent but not to such limits that the terror take over the emotions in the poem
Anyways the poem is really well written.... and pls don't mind the above criticism
thank you
keep writing!
~Aaradhya

[BloodRED6203]

WOW! I totally loved that!!! Talk about kick a*s screw you poem. So true too. Guys use women like rags all the time and its fucked up. ( sorry for language) Really like the poem. Makes me want to take vengence on the guy thats stolen my heart tried to steal my purity and then tells me once i dont give he loves someone else. I absolutely love it when i can relate to a piece of writing. Well done!!

[HorrorMaster]

What a great poem of heart broken.

[topsyturvy]

Hahahaa well, I certainly did enjoy this xDD Great job, witty and fun to read :P

[Eric Cox]

Nice bite to this poem. A cool write. Very nice pen on this.

[Elissa; the genuine art..]

This was too wonderful!
Though I am out of the business of revenge, I must admit that I still enjoy a good vengence piece.
I really love this. Perhaps a little too much.
It was sharp, and the rhyming was flawless.
Adding this to my favorites!

-Elissa :D

Awesome, did you do it? No don't answer the police might be listening (reading) Great write!

[DeathByChoice]

So evil, and yet, so sweet! Revenge may not always fix everything that's wrong, it may not fix anything at all, but it sure is a good way to make you feel better! I'd love to tell you which lines I liked best, but, to tell the truth, I liked them all! Great flow and rhyming! Good job

[Rain Kissed Secret]

heheh. I love revenge. Its a shame I'm more of I'll hurt you in the worst possible way (smiles all prettily) Anyway, this was good. I liked that you drove me to your point of view, I had no choice on it.

Your posse will be next may be a bit over done.... but it depends on what the peoples did.... so I'm gonna shut up on that one

Nice write my dear.
Rain

[kewlbluetiger]

Wow uh, okay! Note to self: Don't piss Volleyball Girl off! LoL Actually this was really powerful, abuse is nothing to joke about. It drives feelings of hatred expressed here. Strong write girl!

[Senseless whatever]

Very nice. Sadistic, evil, creepy.