Bleak Desire

written for the poetry and lyrical challenge group

You hurt me
I hurt you,
That was something
I had to do

My bleak burning desire
to kill you,
is eventually something I'm
going to succumb to.

You tortured me
you teased me,
you used me
and abused me.

You set me up
to fail this time,
but let me tell you
vengence is mine.

I feel this need
to end your life,
because you almost
ended mine

You ripped out my heart,
stomped on my soul,
"Thing's will get better"!,
were the lies i was told

Low and behold
it got worse,
luckily i wasn't the one
in that hearse.

It was you
i wish you well,
may you burn and rot
in HELL!

YOUR POSSE WILL BE NEXT!

Author's Note

enjoy

Reviews

[St.Jimmy]

the poem is really really outstanding
but I feel that the poem shows more cursing and less the emotions of a heart break
the words like "kill" and curses like" may you burn and rot in hell" makes the poem scary and raging.......... huh?
It's good to curse someone in the poem to a little extent but not to such limits that the terror take over the emotions in the poem
Anyways the poem is really well written.... and pls don't mind the above criticism
thank you
keep writing!
~Aaradhya

[Kelley]

damn I think someone was a little pissed off. Great poem ! I love when people get what they deserve.

[JB Murray]

I'm guessing... and I'm no genius here... but I'm guessing that maybe... just maybe... you're a little bitter about something??? Lol! Well... I say let it all out! Despite the rage this poem incites, the flow is nice and fluid, I think, making the subject matter a bit easier to swallow. Thumbs up!

[Mauricio Montoya]

I could never understand how one could mistreat people they love,
This piece is sad I can feel the anger in your words. Two wrong don’t make it right, but you must release the emotion which I feel this piece does. Well done, nice work. Mauricio

[.]

I did !

[*Kantola*]

This was amazing! I loved the emotion in this :) It flowed nicely and had a nice lyrical appeal to it as well.
This reminds me of a story I had a while back, good times, good times.
You should definitely win that contest!!! or, group rather haha (misread the description :D and now that statement makes no sense... oh well!)
Well done, VB girl!!
Write on :D

[Antonio Valentino]

Well get down with your bad self sister. Hey, these feelings are part of life, how we react to them, determines who we are and how our life will turn out.

Liked this Volley Girl. We would never be able to appreciate beauty, without the ugliness that balances it out.

Grrrrr :)
Antonio

[The Last Poetic King]

I enjoyed this. It relates to what I am going through and have been going through. Rather to feel the same thing as someone on here is strange to me. Yet I must say you did a good job on this.

[Katie]

A beautiful angry write. Your emotions scream through this. Great job.

[Alice]

... Wow... This is absolutly amazing, so much power. I loved it!

[Subjective Sanity]

OUCH! I'm hating people a bit right now myself. Glad I'm not the only one...