I Must

GIVE ME A RAZOR

i cant stand this

i need to cut

i'm getting pissed

 

this addiction

has a strong hold on me

that leaves permanent scars

for all to see

 

stopping it?

it's crossed my mind

ive thought about it

a few times

 

but now where im living

where i am

there are rules

i no longer can

 

grr! how i long to see my friends

i miss them so much

being in das

completely sucks

Reviews

[Ammietia]

I can relate to hurting yourself. Stopping is hard and you have to want to stop.

I can feel the anger and loss as well.

[A sea person]

I don't know how much of this poem's structure/grammar was deliberate, so I'm just going to point out what I thought and you can reflect on it as you chose.

There are only two forms of punctuation in the entire piece, and I don't know if this is deliberate or not, but it gives me the sense that you are treating the question as the focus of the poem and the statement as the reaction to the focus. Almost as though "stopping it?" refers to numerous things, instead of just cutting, and "grr!" is the reaction you give for every question.

I'm not sure what "das" is a reference to, but contextually, last stanza leaves the reader with a not so much a hopeless as rejected feeling.

Finally, the lack of grammar throughout the entire piece gives the feeling of all the thoughts running together one after another. I don't know if that was intentional (the repetition in the beginning makes me think it is).

All in all, great poem!

v.r.
Ryan