Two-In-One

one second im happy

the next second im ticked

i really hate to live

my life like this

 

i could be cussing someone out

then gossiping on the phone

next second i scream in joy

then i sit alone

 

when someone angers me

i hurt the ones i love

sometimes i cry out to God

for help from above

 

living life

like im 2 people in 1

honestly and truly

it is no fun

Reviews

[Mpotavin]

My biggest issue is the non-cap i. e.e. cummings used this to the point that no one else can do this without being associated/compared to e.e.

I also think that the style of the poem conflicts with the content. Your style is pretty sing-song almost like a sonnet or limerick. Doesn't quite go with the dark and desperate content.

Rythmn needs some tightening up, I'd start by reading this outloud.

the not hte

Not really much I can say about the content. It's pretty strait forward and easily understood. A decent first draft.