Forbidden

Forbidden

A Poem by rachielle

I take my pen and paper

Letting the flow of ink

Take over all the clamor

Wrapped around my chest;
For I know fiction

Can never seize

Every single collision

My heart and mind experience.

 

And you,

You are the cause of all this commotion.

Never in this life

Would I have planned

In feeling the way I do.

Our two worlds collide-

Mimicking that of my heart and mind.

© 2010 rachielle


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Reviews

good write, i dont have any criticism. keep it up! (:

Posted 13 Years Ago




I loved it, excellent job :]

Posted 14 Years Ago


It's a nice write but to me it seemed like it ended to abruptly, like there should be more to it, I wanted to read more. Writing is a great way to vent any and all of your frustrations, I know that's why I do it. Keep writing. :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


Writing for me is a release and to that I can relate to your work here. Yet, this is different than my relationship to writing, I feel I'm missing your mark. Suddenly the poet within this work seems very exposed and raw. That with all the work and study and the protection of pen and paper, personal experience has leaked in and caused un thought emotional response. That sort of reaction leaves us all vulnerable. Well done.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Wow, this is beautiful!

Posted 14 Years Ago


short but i love it! well done!

Posted 14 Years Ago


Rather simplistic. Your poem is among all other odes to poetry and inner expression. Among the commonality, this poem is a personal one for you and I recognize your great write!

Wonderful poem.
Keep writing Rach,
Lex. :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Most poems are written about the same subjects..And in the same way. But your poems are different. Something about them just makes them seem more...Mature. Very nice write.

Posted 14 Years Ago


this is a good poem

you write well

Posted 14 Years Ago


Simple, and very well wrote. It seems like there should be more,
like it doesn't end there.

Posted 14 Years Ago



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11 Reviews
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Added on April 13, 2010
Last Updated on April 13, 2010

Author

rachielle
rachielle

Philippines



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