I Surrender

It pierces through my skin-

I try depicting the pain,

But can’t even begin;

I’m drowning in a never ending rain-

Of tears.

 

I have no idea why

I waste my time on you

When no matter how hard I try

I can’t ever come through.

 

Yes, I treasure you;

But not for long.

 Sometimes even the strong,

Need to discontinue,

And quit the fight.

Reviews

[J. Alexis Balaguer]

There isn't anything wrong with succumbing to failure. We all fall. That is, as long as we get back up again--then we're truly winning. In the case of love, we are all reminded that letting go isn't as depressing as it is. Sometimes, letting go means Love. And holding on means dependence. We fail to see that moving on and letting others be can be the best way to truly understand a true, loving relationship.

My favorite line:
Sometimes even the strong,
Need to discontinue

Lovely write. Keep the strength!
Lex :)

[Poetic Beauty]

The last stanza in the poem speaks to me loud and clear. I have felt like this many times and still i continue to fight. I have wanted to give up but I can't let myself do that. It would be much easier if I could. The tears speak to me as well. I can't put myself in our shoes. Great job conveying your emotions in this poem.

[Jasmarine]

Memories that I've tried to keep locked up are flooding my cerebral cortex and I'm slightly hating on you for dredging them up. I'm over it now. Post break-up mess, dealing with the emotions of not having that person anymore and feeling so damn down in the dumps you can't do anything without the slightest thing triggering you and making you cry and you can't eat because you just puke the crap back up again and then you feel even more like s**t A) because you look terrible from crying and B) you now have a dirty taste in your mouth. Yes, your poems bring out the best in me :) Good work, as always.

[AbsentElements]

"Yes I treasure you, but not for long." This is the best part of the poem in my opinion. It is the piece that gets through the message you are portraying through the entire piece. Very nice.

[Tate Morgan]

Oh this rings true many times over

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Don't give up on me yet baby, we only just met! lol (just kidding) This is powerful and kind of bitter sweet...I mean, it's obvious that there is a lot of emotion involved but it's like on the brink of just evaporating...sad :o( Great poem though...100% from me...I like it.

[Daniel Gardner]

nice. i like the simplitic style.

[Elissa; the genuine art..]

For some reason the following quote got stuck in my head while reading this;
"If you can't take the kid from the fight, take the fight from the kid"
Anyways, this is a great write the line; "Yes, I treasure you; /But not for long." really hit me because it nearly seemed taunting to me.
Maybe I'm looking at this write completely wrong, I don't know.
But what I do know is that it's excellent! Keep up the great work!

-Elissa :)

[♥(heatherawesome..]

thats awesome and really deep

[An owl on the moon]

There is a profound sadness expressed here.. one who wants to hold on.. who has the courage and strength.. yet realizing a certain destiny... This is so well done... the emotions so deep.