Diary of Bliss and Misery

A smile slowly crawls on her face

As he looked at her and smiled

The man of her dreams, he was

And so was she, his

Love engulfed their spirits

Bliss overtakes

In the blink of an eye

Misery forsakes.

 

Left with tear stains

On unsent love letters,

Unimaginable pain

Continuously lingers

The hearts of those who loved

Until that mistake.

They realize that what bliss provides,

Misery will eventually take.

Reviews

[Wake Up!]

i like how fast paced it was, but the first stanza seemed a little clumsy. it was more boxy where it should flow with a little more ease. Otherwise, just another good write(:

[AbsentElements]

It's short but the truth is well spoken in those few words that are written. It's a feeling everyone has or will experience one day, and being one of the unlucky people who already have experienced this I have to say you can explain it very well.

[Jasmarine]

OMF....DEJA VU....I might be a bit sappy about this one and I'm very sorry. God, love...l-o-v-e LUV total b.s. at the moment and completely not worth the effort in highschool. This has actually happened to me, the unsent letters and the pain was completely engulfing me during that time. The pain of loving someone and then losing the feelings for them is terrible. Unless you're pushed to that extreme. And misery does happen very quickly and can make an individual so bitter its ridiculous. What a wonderful trip down memory lane...I like this...ALOT. Good work :)

[PaperHearts]

Wow! This was an incredible write. There was something so beautifully tragic about this piece that I think reflects many relationships in society. Your choice of vocabulary was beautiful as always. Good job Rachielle. :D
~PaperHearts

[J. Alexis Balaguer]

This is a great start! However I'd prefer it if you put into poetry what actually happened. Why were the letters unsent? Why was there misery--was it always there even from the beginning? I feel as though the poem was general. It didn't show a story and lacked images. However I commend your revolving context.

Keep writing Rach :)
Lex

[JenLyn]

Nice write, the rhyme scheme was done well, not forced at all. Keep it up girly! :)

[Shelby Baker]

Awesome poem
loving it. clearly hit the bulls-eye

[Amy Bumpas]

Yes, bliss can even be dealt with. Like everything
is going good, and all is happy, but never seems
to stay that way, something is always pushing us
down. You captured the picture here.

[deeps]

This is quite the different write here.
It is well written.

[DevinPerkins]

I enjoyed this due to, not that you made it go from bad to good, but how you did. You wrote a truth that you'd think everyone knows.