The Lightless Star

Too many jewels shattered

By the broken light

Of a shining star.

 

Fading into the infinite abyss

Its light grows dimmer

As another bloody ruby is crushed

By its merciless beauty.

 

Lightless and lost

This diamond still holds on to a dream

That tomorrow it will find the light

To bring back the luster it’s been missing.

 

Another diamond

Shines unlike the rest

Its radiance appears

To be flowing upon a sea of gems.

 

The lightless star approaches

Its wholeness filled with glee

Only to find an empty gemstone

Floating aimlessly.

Reviews

[Wake Up!]

i couldnt really find what it was about. it seemed like it was kind of thoughtless, not your best, but we all have moments

[Jasmarine]

Very nice....I actually don't have a comment this time...sorry!

[PaperHearts]

Beautiful! I loved it! This style of writing really suits you, and your execution blows me away every time. The imagery that you created in this piece was really intriguing, and I wanted to re-read the descriptions over and over again. Hehe, an enchanting write. :)
~PaperHearts

[JenLyn]

Nice flow...

[Shelby Baker]

Emotional
nice flow :)

[Amy Bumpas]

This to me reminds me of a fairy tale, something one
might read to a child:). It's whimsical, yet there is a
deeper meaning here.

[MissWordSmith]

i normally don't enjoy reading poems that don't have a rhyme and tempo pattern, but i really liked this. keep it up! great metaphorical feel to it too!!

[deeps]

This is an emotional write here. I like it alot.

[rachielle]

Thanks for that review, Punishment!:)

[J. Alexis Balaguer]

Seems to be an overshadowing of sorts.
Lurking in another person's shadow and longing for the light?
There is an imminent feel of melancholy that you caught really well.
Envy and jealousy as well are lingering emotions.

It was a good write rachielle!

Punishment