Bree

Bree

 

“Very strong sedative… relaxed and calm…”

“Breathing… self… ventilator on standby…”

“Don’t remove restrains… Never sure of doses…”

“Ok… back later…”

I realise the darkness has receded, my ears are tuning in to the noises around me.  Slowly the darkness leaves me and I realise I could move, if I wanted to, I don’t. 

“Her breathing’s changed; you don’t think she’s waking up already do you?”  Footsteps and then a breeze as the door opens I stay as still as possible,

“Heart rate is increasing,” I cling to the warmth and safety of my mind but something tells me I don’t want these people anywhere near me, I push the thought aside and pretend I’m still asleep as the person adjusts the mast over my mouth and nose.

“No, she’s out cold, no response at all.” I hear her walk away from my bed, relief fills me, I still can’t seem to figure out why, my head feels like it is filed with cotton wool.

 

After a time I have to move, I’m beginning to cramp in this position, I try to stretch but I’m tied down. Restraints. I am the person they were taking about before; I test the restraints they are strong and tight, I grunt into the mask unable to think of any words to say.

“She’s waking up, what do you want us to do?”

They’ve realised I’m awake but they don’t seem to be coming in.  I still can’t make sense of my fear of them but I’m relieved they’re staying outside all the same.

 

A while later I hear footsteps again, they pause for a minute, I hear bits of a murmured conversation and then the door is opened again.  I open my eyes but I still can’t see who it is.  He enters my line of sight, he looks familiar, I know him, I’m sure of it but I can’t remember who he is or whether I trust him.

 

He moves slowly, smiling at me as he pus a chair over. 

“Sabrina,” he greets me softly, I don’t say anything, “Are you feeing better?” I don’t reply, I still can’t work out what has happened or who he is. “Nice and relaxed?” he asks, unfazed.  I nod as best I can with my head tied down. “I’m going to undo these restrains” he pauses “but only if you promise to stay on the bed nice and calm.” I nod again.  He reaches forward, I can’t help it, I finch away from his hands as they come towards my head.  He backs off immediately, waiting for a response from me,

“Sorry. Please.” I whisper but immediately begin to cough violently.  The restrains hold me firmly; I begin to panic as I struggle to breathe.

“It’s ok Bree” he says softly “stop fighting just open your mouth.”  Air is being forced into my mouth again, I panic.  I try to do what he says.  Gradually I calm down and breathe for myself causing the machine to shut off, he gives me another minute before reaching to undo the restraints, this time he speaks softly all the way through, telling me exactly what he is about to do, I manage not to flinch this time.