Secrets

We hold our secrets so closely to us; It's the thought of them being revealed that is truly destructive.

I wish to disappear.

Will you do that for me, World?

Will you swallow me whole?

My fingers tightly curled

Around what I must release.

My fist hides my secret

From everyone except me,

But despite my best efforts

To keep it all inside,

It seeps through the cracks

Of my knuckles here and I,

While sobbing and pleading,

Watch it tear through my skin.

The tears silently roll

Down my cheeks and chin.

I inhale the faceless people

Judging me for simply being;

They look me up and down,

Looking but never seeing.

This world brainwashes its victims

Like a tauntingly cruel Siren:

"To first give up your soul

Is the only way to be free."

Reviews

[Kristan A. Mohammed]

I wish to disappear.
Will you do that for me, World?

Will you swallow me whole?

My fingers tightly curled

Around what I must release

I really enjoyed especially this stanza. I loved the whole poem. But I vividly recall the amount of time this I have felt this way. This piece just sums up a lot of emotions that are difficult to describe. I also really loved the language that you used in this piece. Its so captivating.

Thanks for sharing

[Rachel Anderson]

I'm so glad you liked it!

[Rahul]

well written, a piece of writing. wonderful and a beautiful poem with powerful wording's.
great job. starting as well as youse ending's damn great.

[Rachel Anderson]

Lol, thank you so much Rahul. :)

[Samuel Jack]

Beautiful poem,I feel very similar at times. I wonder if you'd mind explaining what you mean in the last two lines. Sorry to all educated people rolling their eyes but I'm an honest and open learner.

[Rachel Anderson]

The last two? There's nothing smart about it, lol. A banshee is a mythical creature that takes the form of what its victim desires most. So the banshee/world is using its hold on us to force us to give up everything. It's feeding us lies to make us comply. You see?

[Samuel Jack]

As ahh thats why it didn't make sense, I didn't know that side of the banshees mythology. Thank you.

[Rachel Anderson]

Whoops! I was thinking of a siren. Banshees are from Irish mythology and they predict death. My bad.

[Samuel Jack]

No worries, the poems still awesome :)

[Rachel Anderson]

Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. :)

[Gaurav Walia]

Simply Awesome :D

[Rachel Anderson]

Thanks so much!

[Gaurav Walia]

You're Quite welcome... :D

[Inda]

This was fantastic! Really powerful stuff, my only critique is that i don't think you need the word "ominously" when describing the tears,but other than that this is a great piece!

[Rachel Anderson]

I was looking at that too, lol. I wrote this half asleep.

[Jack V.]

I like what you're trying to say. I'm not a poetry person, I don't get most of it. I had to read this twice. But this was good. It works. It has a point and you get it across. Thank you for writing this.

[Rachel Anderson]

Thanks for reading!

[Jack V.]

It was my pleasure. Please keep writing. I'd like to hear more.

[quinfinn]

every one has their angels and their demons. giving up your soul takes on a whole new meaning when you consider this. well penned!

[Rachel Anderson]

Thanks Quin!

[quinfinn]

welcome

[Rita L. Sev]

Well written, very thoughtful piece. Love these lines:

My fingers tightly curled
Around what I must release.

This is the essence of being our own worst enemies - holding on to what we must let go...

Your last stanza reminded me of the Tracy Chapman song "All That You Have is Your Soul" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxzFU1QbXA4

Well done!

[Rachel Anderson]

Thank you so much. :)

[Ohhhwillow]

Beautiful picture and great title, that itself is enticing, luring the reader in, as dark secrets always do. It is your flow here that grips me, you do not need to venture into complex descriptions or vocabulary because your flow is so extremely soft, subtle and yet piercing as though you were whispering cooly in my ear. Keep the secrets you have to, and set others free, but do not hide yourself as one of them for its simply a waste of the person you are, and could be. Well done Rachel, keep it up :)

[Rachel Anderson]

Thanks! I take the thumbnails myself. Except on My Only Question. Thank you so much for your lovely words. :)

[Ohhhwillow]

Wow that's awesome, good idea! :)

[Rachel Anderson]

Thanks! I love taking pictures, so I figured why not share those too. Lol!

[Casner P]

REALLY like this. Holding our secrets quite close to us can be very destructive indeed and I think you capture that beautifully in this poem. I love these lines..."I inhale the faceless people judging me for simply being;They look me up and down, Looking but never seeing." that's beautifully well said. It's the classic tale of people judging someone based on outward appearances and not truly comprehending their TRUE story. Those lines are really powerful and I think they are a gem in this beautifully constructed poem. It is also quite catchy as well! Honestly great job Rachel I really enjoyed this poem.

[Rachel Anderson]

Thank you so much! That honestly means a lot. :)

[Baby Ricochet]

We've all got secrets

[Rachel Anderson]

That's true Ricochet.