Endgame

How a place looks can change depending on who you are with. All that matters is that you're with someone you care about.

Softened lips upon my face,

Shapely bodice covered with lace,

Withered flowers in the vase.

Despite it lacking class and grace,

Tonight, no, tonight that's not the case.

Moon hung high, a remarkable place.

Enjoying the endgame of a chase,

As our bodies intertwine in a lovers' embrace.

Reviews

[Tunder]

I read this twice because I simply misread the line, "Tonight, no, tonight that's not the case." I hate when I do that!

This is a great poem! I like how you listed the opposite of the situation first. It is a device not typically used. Great poem, really enjoyed it! Keep writing!

[Rachel Anderson]

I'm so glad you liked it! :D

[Gordon]

Here's the weird thing, I like it but I don't fully understand it. The best lines to me are the first 3 lines. Then the rhymes seemed forced a little. Thanks for sharing it.

[Rachel Anderson]

Thank you for reading. It's about two people who make love, maybe for the first time, in an old, below average motel, but it doesn't matter where they are because when they're together, any place is amazing.

[Gordon]

Now it makes complete sense. I am not too bright. If you get a chance read my poem, Intertwined. Your use of that word reminded me of it. Similar concepts too...

[Rachel Anderson]

Okay. I'll be sure to stop by and read it soon. :)

[Aisha Mnd]

The rhyming pattern, though simple, worked for this piece. I liked how it ended, as mentioned – simple but beautiful.

Great job!

- Aisha

[Rachel Anderson]

So glad you think so, Aisha! :)

[CreativeStroke]

This was a well written piece Rachel. I enjoyed the read! :)

[Rachel Anderson]

I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

[Ohhhwillow]

Wow usually I hate rhyme in such a direct and obvious manor but I really loved this, much to my surprise! Your title was superb and you portrayed real, honest affection. Nice work Rachel

[Rachel Anderson]

Thank you so much! I'm the same way, actually, so I was surprised when I wrote this. I think I'm okay with the final outcome, though. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[Chris]

body's should be plural and not possesive. How does Vase get pronounced?

I liked the thought to this one and the end left an imprint.

[Rachel Anderson]

Oh, you're right. Thank you. Vase is pronounced vays. The pronunciation vahz is typically used for more expensive ones.
Thanks for the review. :)

[Chris]

welcome

[NITHIN PURPLE]

good love with hidden meanings,,,,,,,,good poem

[Rachel Anderson]

Thanks!

[NITHIN PURPLE]

welcome

[hundi]

" enjoying the end game of the chase" says so much and sums all the words up nicely , I comepletly agree that a place can look amazing with the right person or it can be terribly different

[Rachel Anderson]

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Inda]

Very sensual, lots of passion and the imagery is great. Good job!

[Rachel Anderson]

Thanks!

[Baby Ricochet]

This poem was an ace
Without disgrace
it should be first place

[Rachel Anderson]

Haha! Thanks, BR. :)