The Blade of My Heart

A poem reflecting the views of self-harm.

The needle slices with perfect precision.

I feel the sting of it supporting my weight.

I see my future in a crimson crystal ball;

This habit, this curse has sealed my fate

And with this truth, I unleash my hate.

To everyone else I look the same,

Just a good ole family girl.

Look deeper, though. Come a bit closer

As my eyes show heartache in their hazel swirl,

I will show you the pain of each bloody pearl.

I caress my scars, my battle wounds;

Of life, of lust, of broken trust,

each one tells a different tale.

The love I have to give is covered in dust

As I wait for the blade of my heart to rust.

Author's Note

Not sure if I like this piece or not. Let me know what you think!

Reviews

[Clockwork]

Well, I think you have some strong parts going on here. I think the first stanza stands out to me the most. I think you did a good job there about describing what the process and mindset of self harm are. Then you have a pretty nice image with the red bead of blood.

The second stanza does a pretty good job of describing what it is like for self harm to go unnoticed. I was going to say that you may want to think about working in a line or two about concealment and wearing long sleeves, although that may be implied with the observers not being able to see the wounds.

Also, thank you for sharing this. It has been an issue that is close to my heart. Both of my sisters have battled self harm over the years, and I see there struggle in your words.

[Rachel Anderson]

Thank you for that well-thought review. I really appreciate you taking the time. :)

[Clockwork]

You're welcome :-)

[I Am Svetlana]

Self-harm is a tough habit to kick. Easy as a taking a breath to get into and get addicted to, but so difficult to give up. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this poem, I certainly do. People use self harm as an escape from reality, to help themselves realize that they are still alive and still feel pain. As feeling pain helps one forget what tough reality they may be going through. Many cannot give it up without help...the addiction soon becomes a part of them. And I feel those who don't understand or gone through it shouldn't be the ones to step in and criticize. More or less act like they are an expert on it and try personally examining the person. Self harm is not just a phase. It is a serious issue that many around you may be experiencing. It's not easy, but it's possible to quit.

[Rachel Anderson]

Thank you for your heartfelt review. :)

[CreativeStroke]

This was powerful, something so many people/teenagers can relate to. Sadly, self-mutilation is a big struggle in the world today and it makes me sad to see people struggling like that. I hope you have found peace and hope from this addiction. It saddens me to see others in pain.
Your writing is wonderful hun and I hope you take pride in it, because you certainly deserve to be proud of your work. :)

[Rachel Anderson]

Aww, thanks! I don't talk about my feelings, like ever, so my outlet was cutting. That is, before I found poetry. Healthy alternative, lol. :)

[CreativeStroke]

Yes, writing poetry is definitely the healthy alternative. And writing, for me, is a great outlet of emotions and frustrations.

[Rachel Anderson]

I agree. :)

[Tunder]

I really like the pattern of this poem! The rhyme scheme is interesting. self harm is a difficult theme to capture. I like how you described it as something the narrator feels isn't shameful, but sad. Overall, a great poem :) Keep writing :)

[Rachel Anderson]

Wow, I think you said it better than I could. Thanks for reading. :)

[Tunder]

No problem! :)

[hundi]

I think it's a nice piece that tells the dark side of human existence within themselves, written in a good way , yes we can all relate to it , I can

[Rachel Anderson]

Glad you enjoyed it. :)

[Inda]

This is dark and beautiful at the same time; not the first piece where you do that, i am amazed by the fact that you do this so well! Great job!

[Rachel Anderson]

Thank you! I am so flattered. I love that description. :)

[Baby Ricochet]

I really like this piece. It's got some gutsy emotion to it. Outstanding work

[Rachel Anderson]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

[quinfinn]

not sure i enjoy the theme of this write as much as the manner in which it was written. you have a definite skill for arranging the words to make a wonderfully fluid poem combined with an engaging and provocative story. i am not slicing at your writing with my opening comment, dear Rachel...i just frown on self mutilation. very good and expressive write here!

[Rachel Anderson]

I understand what you mean, Quin. Self-mutilation is a problem with which a lot of people suffer from. I enjoy writing things that people, including myself, can relate to. Thank you for the compliments! I'm glad you think so highly of my writing. :)

[quinfinn]

oh yes, i do!

[icelandicblue]

I like this piece. It speaks of self mutilation and the "double edged sword" of the face we show in public and the face that looks back at us in the mirror. Nice work Rachel.

[Rachel Anderson]

Thank you! Glad you liked it. :)