Find Rehab (And Other Addictions)

honeymoon style

hotels

were the foam

in our collapsing latte

intersperced 

with restaurants

and air travel

i saw

the sinking surface

of your soul

i watched you

lose your mind

i saw your wide eyes widen

as they injected

darkness 

into you

and i hated 

how they handled

the broken glass

that was your mind

and how

i had to touch you carefully

in case i cut myself

on a mind too sharp

but clinging to you

was like catching fire

i burned 

and then burnt out

and soothing you 

when you awoke 

was lying 

because some nightmares

survive the day

and so we ran from ourselves

but our monsters came with legs

and so we hid

under the pale moonlight

and with my needle and thread

tried to fix your broken mind

i tried to kiss you better

but nothing i did could make you better

and i hated how

i couldn’t save you from yourself

and bring you back to 

the one 

who grabbed the first

first class ticket

and rushed

through the skies

to recollect me

you were the angel

who broke my wings

a delicious indulgence

a volcanic love affair 

of mirrored souls

and an ever deepening 

insanity

a hiding of the self

within the self

you were 

an angelic monster

the kind that 

self destructs

a beautiful mistake

i could never retract 

nor repeat

and after feeling everything

i can now feel

nothing

and have crashed

head-first

into the workings

of my mind

and i am 

a drug addict

deprived 

of drugs

a mind 

collapsing in on itself

waving goodbye

in my own version 

of a natural disaster

i never planned on 

living on

without your fix

to fix me

and still i hesitate

on the threshold

of sanity

uncommitted 

to life itself

but i must go on

pretending

i can go on

pretending

and freedom stills

the screaming of my mind

and must i blame you

for this dark 

a darkness

seeing life 

like a paper sandcastle

but i will not become 

what you have let yourself become

i will not be 

the monster you have planted inside of me

Reviews

[Lafayette]

Lovely read, nice work! LL

[Rachel Landes]

Thank you, peace and love. Rachel