Calling the Sky Falling

This one 

Might be the one

So I might just

Have to get on a plane

To get you back

Shove some clothes in a suitcase

Grab my notebook

And Parker pen

Close my eyes

I see nothing but you

Beautifully broken

Trying to fix

The fairytale 

With a fairy that has flown away

And a Prince tailing his own shadow

Stand tall 

Fight your demons

Because you are supposed

To be

An angel 

To me

And I still hear your voice

And listen to your words

And wonder if you are still wondering

If I have found any answers 

To my many questions

Already sorry

Already turning away

But maybe

I can turn back

And the clocks will turn back

And what was broken can be fixed

Even if it broke me

And even though I broke you

And your face is scarred

You are the most beautiful face to me

Do you think you could think about this

And would you come and see me if I come across the world to see you

And would the world go back to the world that 

We once made together

Because we could make it together

And maybe I can see you again

But then again 

Maybe I will never see you again

And all I have are my memories

Which isn't very helpful 

To someone who does not remember

You know it hurts me too 

And I am sorry 

And I will spend forever trying to fix what I broke

Thinking that being rich is the key

Pick a lock to pick

I should have at least 

Said goodbye

When you were by the door

How do I explain what can never be explained

What should I do 

What's done is done

But I am done

With being dumb 

And doing the things that mean nothing

I want what is real in this reality

The space between two people in space

Is nothing

Nowhere 

And has no place

In this place

And I say it 

Again and again

Like I write about you

Over and over 

Again

The same old story 

Some new mistakes

You creep back into my mind

And I can never just leave you behind

But I do not think you would like me very much anymore

I would see in your eyes that you see who I am

And the second you look at me you would know 

And it would kill me to kill you

Without even touching you

And I don't know why

Sad stories are even written

Or more than that

Why they are read

But I will try to remember:

Laughing and breath catching

Shoulders bowed against the cold

Head tipped to the side

Door opening for me

Eyes touching mine

Glued to mine

Stuck on mine

Silent words spoken

But I think I shredded them

And you were just right

But I think I am wrong about everything

And maybe I am just a maybe to you

I am a maybe to myself as well

But you came in the winter

Wonderland

Knock, knock

Is anyone home

You could be

But I sit eyes staring

And you stare at me

For a single moment

And you hear what I will not say

And your eyes graze the floor 

And your jaw tightens

And your smile doesn't spread

And your lack of smile 

And singing 

Hurts 

When did you stop singing?

Bowler hat

Spinning

Feet chasing

Eyes catching

Heart jumping

Taxi slipping past

Door shutting close

Chapter ending

And what is done is undone

Song on repeat

Whistle and the taxi comes

And I come back home

But you are not in

Feel your pain 

A million miles away

And I think that 

If maybe I would

Make enough noise

Then you will have no choice but to hear me

You will hear me

And hear that I am sorry

For myself 

And that maybe 

If you do not see me when I come to the cobblestone streets

And city of truth

I will understand

Because maybe 

You deserve a better ending

Than me

I guess

Angels deserve angels 

And I am guessing

That you are 

One

But we might never

Because I am forever

Stuck 

In my own skin 

And sins I cannot fix

For you

I would if I could

But I can't

And fist swinging 

And blood spurting

And knees sinking

And you are screaming

Blind with rage

Shaking with anger

And I don't blame you

For being angry

And then you turn to me

Without turning to me

And I wonder

Yes I guess I still wonder

If I have made you turn into me

And your ragged breathing 

And boiling anger

Burns me 

And I wish you would scream 

Until your voice is raw

And you would shake me 

Awake

And tell me 

What is wrong with me

But what is worse

Is that you say nothing

As though this is nothing

And I am wondering

If it will ever stop being empty

If I cannot fill my life with you 

And I hope that we have

Both of us not 

Forgotten what is missing

Stopped to start 

To pay attention

Broke and beautiful

Angels circling

Not in the picture

But 

Drawing the picture

Sharded shards and blessed blessings

The only home 

In which I will ever feel at home

Author's Note

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