Out of My Mind

A Poem by Rachel Landes

A poem that plays with the game we are all playing.

Quick.
Close your eyes to see
What cannot be seen

And see that when I see you
I am not seeing you
I am seeing things

And when I meet you
I am for the first time meeting you
And it is all games and no fun

You see, I do not fit this circle
I want to want
A way out of the way out

I could live forever
But could not not call it living
What I want is an in-body experience

You cannot love me
When I am not me
But you can miss me - to be honest, I miss me too

It's crazy how crazy things are getting
I wish I'd wish
To get better

I don't blame you for blaming me
I messed up this mess
Because I thought I could (think)

So what I do
Is try to do
The things no one else even thinks of thinking

And to be moved
When the music moves me
Finding everything easy except for the easy things

I see that I am not from here
That I do not belong here
And that my world is out of this world

But it is not me that I do not see
And it is not myself that I do not speak to
When I speak

But tomorrow maybe
My silent speech
Will be the voice in my head that I will hear

It makes me mad
To have it make me mad
Being out of my mind should not be

A way to be (in your world)