Love Me for Now

A Love

I ask him if he will love me forever, he tells me he will love me for now.

I ask a penny for his thoughts, his thoughts aren’t for sale. 

He tells me I am sweet but my lips taste bitter.

He asks me why I sell my body, I tell him my soul is not for sale.

We ask each other why, 

why each other?

I don’t know him, not well, beautiful brown eyes filled with lust, hard hands filled with rage. 

He does not know me at all, just the skin of my thighs, the soft n****e between his teeth.

He knows my body and I know his.

He knows his needs and I question my own.

He smells of cigarettes and I taste the bitterness of a broken past when his chapped lips bite mine.

I smell of sweat, sweet in the summer, damp in the winter. He tastes lips that are unable to speak, cherry chapstick but he doesn’t mind.

Rough cotton sheets redden soft skin, as the body of the man who lives inside of me pushes me up and pulls me back down.

Pulls me back down to the edge of the bed, lips between burning thighs. 

Hands in dry hair, pulling hard, harder than needed.

The salt of wet tears on the tip of his tongue, can he taste the sadness?

On top of me again, he finds sweet release.

The weight of the body of the man I love rolls over and I feel empty.

Naked, vulnerable I am to him.

Naked, powerful he is to me. 

We don’t speak and that is okay, we don’t speak and I close my eyes. 

I see my paradise on fire and I stretch my hands out to the flame just to feel the heat.

Paradise lost when eyes open to the body of my love walking out the door.

Green paper sits folded on top of a bible on the bedside table.

Less than last time and that’s okay. 

A new body now on top of swollen skin, red and tired. 

I ask him if he will love me forever, he tells me he will love me for now. 

Reviews

[Pete]

this is quite deep. there is a beautiful, vulnerable truth to it. i sense some sad longing and a desire for commitment with more. well done ...

[sugarandsap]

Thanks so much!