Josie Marie

On October 31st, 1903,

St. Hallow’s Graveyard was the worst place to be.

Unfortunately for young Josie, as fate would decide,

That was the place where her bones would reside.

Josie Marie was her full first name, 

and she was as curious as little girls came.

She loved to explore, to be brave and bold, 

and had beautiful blonde hair, like ringlets of gold.

That day she was wearing her favourite, white dress.

It was covered in pink posies stitched with finesse.

Skipping through the park on her daily adventure,

She stumbled on a graveyard that dared her to enter.

A fog swirled in and covered the ground 

while eerie groans echoed from trees all around.

It was then that Josie first heard their song,

Faint at first, but it quickly grew strong.

Curiousity took hold, common sense overrun

For remember, Josie was an inquisitive one.

She sprang into action and followed the sound, 

of course not noticing the fog on the ground.

Faster and faster she ran on ahead,

when she should have been watching the ground instead.

They taunted again with that singsong rhyme,

hiding in shadows and biding their time.

Just one glimpse was all she needed, 

then she’d go straight home like her parents had pleaded.

If she could only catch up and have a quick peek

she’d be a good little girl the rest of the week!

But all at once the ground disappeared

and down she plunged, while her onlookers sneered.

With a sickening crack, her spine was snapped.

Although still alive, she was now trapped.

Lying at the bottom of a freshly dug grave,

Josie Marie no longer felt brave.

Out of the fog, they emerged all at once

just as they always did at the end of their hunts.

They joined hands round her grave and began to sing,

Skipping and dancing around in a ring.

“Ring-a-ring-a-roses,

A pocket full of posies;

Ashes! Ashes!

We all fall down.”

Josie never did see what she’d been chasing

and maybe it’s better to not know what she was facing.

Like a broken rag doll, lost and forgotten

Josie Marie was left to go rotten.

Author's Note

All feedback welcome. I hope you enjoyed....and maybe was a little scared. :p

Picture from: http://kickingcorners.blogspot.com/2012/01/300-words-or-less-ring-around-rosie.html

Reviews

[Wolfwind]

I loved it! The tale itself serves as a good reminder to all little one's not to run off in the fog or something bad may happen. Certainly a tale I'd tell a group of young children around Halloween time.
There were a few stanzas that threw off the flow, usually it was a line that could use an extra word or minus a word to even up the beat count. But overall I think you did a wonderful job here.

Great ink!
Aaron

[Dean Kuch®]

I'm sorry, but my favorite types of poetry are ones with a rhyming scheme, a solid rhythm, and can be clearly understood with little introspection or interpretation. This piece you've written here falls well into that category!
You've managed to tell an old fashioned ghost story, much like parents recited to their children long ago, to get a message across (don't run in strange, foggy places!) and scare them into obedience.
This is one I'm putting in my faves list. Terror-ific!

[Rachael Day]

Thank you so much!!!!!

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

This is very much like Edgar Allen Poe would have done, and I that guy is one of my main idols to write! I really enjoy dark poetry because I'm a dark writer, and I got to say your poem here is one of the best examples of dark poetry. Nicely done, Racheal

[MerinxD]

This is pleasing to see. The way you tell the story is incredibly well crafted. The depth given in such a small piece tells me all I need to know.
My grandmother has some poetry books published and they remind me of a twisted version of those. It has a great amount of maturity.
Great job :)

[zainul]

It appears that Josie Marie is really very brave.
She charmed us with wonderful story of grave.

[Laura Maidah]

I'm not a fan of horror/narrative poems. I am a fan of this one. Very precise diction. Nice!

[Whiskurz]

This is one Amazingly written piece.....Bravo my friend......Whisk

[MIB]

Wow.. that was some incredible writing... OK shame at the end but awesomely done... this is what a poem is, beautifully sounding... keep up the awesome work :D

[Brian Hagen]

I like the abrupt segue from a kind of whimsical Edward Gorey/fairy tale spookiness to sudden, shocking horror with the crack of her spine. Nicely done!

[nigrum homonculus]

yeah, this is definitely going to be playing in my dreams as i sleep. this is so disturbing its actually crazy. especially the end. damn you're good at horror. well done!