The Monster At Night

From the depths of the forest the beast came about,

twisting its limbs and snarling its snout.

Ripping and tearing and shredding with ease

it blazed a trail through the deep, dark trees.

The children all dreamt of this monster at night,

of it leaping from the dark to give them a fright.

And their parents all said, “don’t be silly.  It’s fine.

There’s really nothing scary about night time.”

But what they didn’t know was how the monster got in,

and how it waited outside with a pointy-toothed grin.

Then when all was quiet, and everyone asleep,

it would snatch up the children it wanted to eat.

With the greatest of ease, they’d be gone in a flash,

gobbled down fast like baked beans and mash.

Into the black night, the beast galloped away,

droplets of blood glistening on a coat of ash grey.

The only sign of its presence, the empty beds it upset,

and upon morning’s sunrise, the parent’s regret.  

Author's Note

Love to hear any feedback!! Thank you for reading!! <3

Picture came from: http://werewolf-image-gallery.blogspot.com/2011/07/werewolf-hunting-during-full-moon-in.html

Reviews

[Owlgirl]

A disturbing emotional read that takes a few times to sink in and truly understand, gorgeaus writing, amazing poem. I love this one. The rhyme scheme is fantastic and the flow is sweet. You may want to work a little on punctuation, but it's amazing as is. Well done!

[pumpkin head]

Goodness this is really powerfully written.
So emotional but so well written.

[Rachael Day]

Thank you so very much!

[Wolfwind]

Its always the parents telling the kids it's gonna be fine... And then the kids go and get eaten up by the monster. Someone really needs to give them parents a talk'n to about being honest! lol

Great Monster Ink!
Aaron

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

Disturbing, creepy, beautiful!!!! Great work

[MerinxD]

This is great. I feel that I like this alot more than Josie Marie. It makes me think and I like that.
The way you place the words on the page is flawless

[ATG]

A creepy, but very well written poem. I did like the overall feel of it. My only issue was with this stanza.

"Then when all was quiet, and everyone asleep,
It would snatch up the children it wanted to eat."

It works, but it doesn't feel right. While reading over again I wanted to change asleep to slept for some reason.

I think the issue with that stanza was it didn't rhyme like the other stanzas making it stand out in a bad way. I think reworking that stanza to something different would make the poem flow better.

Other than that, it was a great read and a very entertaining poem. Thank you for posting it.

[MIB]

This poem is super, it's like it has some kind of dark fairy tale kind of sound to it, but it is an incredible piece of work and I love the way that your poems sound. Your rhyming is second to none :D keep up the good work :D

[Laura S.]

Love the rhyming scheme and your vocabulary! Great read. The last two lines are wonderful. Great job!!

[Brian Hagen]

The one thing that clunks for me is "snarling its snout." Half the time I like its quirkiness, half the time I think it should be "with a snarl on its snout." Apart from that, I like it. Not enough scary poems about monsters being written these days, darn it.

[EileenMarie]

Very deep! A great read. Love this poem.

[Nidheesh Sankaran]

Can we hav some more poems of the same kind.... Really nice!!!