The Red River Flows

If only, if only

the red river flows.

Like ruby ribbons cascading

through blankets of woes.

Trial and error seeps in

when nobody knows.

The cackling sounds

from behind a door closed.

Stripped bare of disguise,

the truth comes about.

If not from the wise,

then through experience no doubt.

The mask slips down,

pearls fall all around.

Like soft raindrops on rooftops,

covering the ground.

Author's Note

We all have masks.

Anything you have to say is welcome. Thanks for taking the time to read.

Picture from: http://trickfist.com/content/do%20while/the-most-unusual-and-weird-masks/

Reviews

[R J Askew]

Yes, we do. I read the poem as all about the profligacy of life. So much life falls on the ground. Blood, seed, the essence of life. So much of it goes to waste. The fact we -- all 7 billion of us - actually exist is extraordineary. The fact that some of us can turn our hand to communicting in the way that you can is even more extraordinary. Your poem made me think. Well done.

[MIB]

Very nice work.. I love the way it rhymes you have great talent... keep up the awesome work ;)

[Patrick]

beautiful opening lines..as for the message, very powerful..so great job overall

[Kyle]

You are a fine poet. I always can tell that about a writer when i have to read something several times trying to find out what the hell they are saying....lol

[Jay. E. V.]

I happen to love the phrase "If only, If only" As I thoroughly enjoy the movie "Holes."
You used it well, and the wonderful thing about using such a line is that it creates a tone, from the very start, a longing, a dream like state. I enjoy it.

The pattern of Rhyme you used is very common, although I don't think it took ANYTHING away from this piece. Your subject matter creates a tight relationship with the reader. Excellent flow, Expertly done.

[Aehr]

very expressive, well painted... interesting and nice message

[Kaa Na Kalyanasundaram]

Trial and error seeps in

when nobody knows.

The cackling sounds

from behind a door closed.



..............You are writing beautifully. A good poem from your pen. My best wishes always. I like your writings. continue. with regards.

[Whiskurz]

You are a very good writer my friend.....Whisk

[johnnyqueer]

This is really beautiful.
I can't wait to see more of your work. :)

[nigrum homonculus]

i like it. its a really smooth poem. i personally enjoyed reading it.