Your Mom Called About How I Was Doing And The Only Thing I Could Say Was Your Name

It's black and bitter at 4:15 when sheets become good friends 

and your pillow grows cold from the lack of sunlight.

But winter already set itself between bone and flesh

when weeks felt like months and months felt like suicide

and you couldn't leave the bed without sobbing.

Headlights were starting to taste sweet

and you were eager to overdose on the sugar,

sending yourself into a comatose of broken glass and shattered thoughts.

Now my knuckles are white and cracked, bleeding

from clutching onto my phone for so damn long,

waiting for the face to light up with your name; setting my heart aflame 

but the only things burning are the leaves and my skin.

I'm dizzy, I want to get out of this nightmare 

but the body that held me above insanity 

when I was sinking below the blankets, grew tired and frail 

and fell through our bedroom floor before I had the chance to even blink. 

I've been sleeping on the living room floor

since the day your heart refused to digest anymore of the shadows 

that infested your rib cage; 

and inhaling kegs of vodka out of your worn out coffee mug

you bought in Maine the summer you took my breath away 

and never gave it back.

I can hear the floorboards reassuring the bed that I'll be back soon,

that the taste of "mine" makes my stomach curl,

and the walls are constantly holding the windows  

because they can't take the thought never feeling your fingertips. 

Your toothbrush forever slumps, refusing to look up

and the blankets whisper about how you breathed,

about how you never woke without a weary smile when I was home. 

Oh God, nothing has been the same since, 

nothing has been alright. 

Reviews

[song writer]

The feelings of losing someone sucks but you can't drowned your sorrows in beer and wine you have to move although it is hard when it is someone that you love you should try to think of life as not only living day to day for yourself but for them too.