Life Lesson #1: Taught By A Girl Who Can't Seem To Keep Her Priorities In Line

To my friend, Riley

Winter's here and I can see it on your face
that you're just as a scared as me.
I carved into my bedroom wall nights ago that
meds don't help during the suicide season
and you agreed through a beat up crooked smile.
But as I freeze to a sad icicle,
you'll be buried under the cold of self hate.

While the snow grows from inches to feet,
I'll hum the words that nobody sang to me
when I put my heart at the back of my closet:

"There's nothing wrong with being selfish
to save your own heart from
shattering under the weight of unhappiness.
Take the knife out of your rib age you put there
after you wrote "my fault" on your wrist.
Cross off all the names of who you put first
and put one name over top of the rest;
Yours.
Keep in mind that one day you will be able to
plant your own garden of sunflowers
and not have to worry about someone killing them.
But right now it's time to let the seeds thrive on burned soil
and soak in all the water that's run down your face."

By the time the melody imprints into your skin
Spring will be here and the snow will have melted away
with the guilt that rotted in your bones.
I'll thaw and wash my hands of all death.
Your eyes will bleed away the shade of red
that was painted on the white canvases.
I'll mend up my frost bitten limbs
and return to growing strong from the water in my roots.
You'll bloom with the realization with winter comes pain.
But I promise with all the stars in the sky as my witnesses,
that next season, when things become too hard,

You'll be okay.