If I Don't Wake Up From The Mango In My System, Here's My Goodbye

I read something once that said
the ones with the white and red lines
that cover their bodies were angels.
That they were sent down to see
what life was like on the ground.
But many couldn't bare the pain
the earth was pouring into them
and would take their lives
to go back to peace.

This is true.

I am an angel.
My wings are torn and worn out.
I've heard words that are forever imprinted into my system.
I've written poems with crooked endings
in braille on skin thick paper.
I've fought in wars with nothing
but a sharp edge to defend myself
from the demons under the bed.
My heart has been shattered and stomped on,
being left bleeding in the dirt.
I know what it's like to have nothing
to grab onto when you're falling to your death,
to have no one hear your screams at 2am.
And I've learned things no 6 year old should know.

I don't think you understand
what it's like to have monsters in your head,
screaming, taunting, mocking.
Or to be walking around in the skin
of your worst enemy.
That's good.
You're alive.
I am the walking dead.
My insides are full of dark shadows
consuming the the only glowing hope left.
The flowers that were planted in my rib cage
have long gone rotted into nothing,
refusing to bloom the next spring.
My thoughts are tainted with desperate ways
to ease the itch underneath my shell.
The light in my eyes have faded out
And my bones are weak from the sadness
that has soaked into them.

But...

I'm one of the few who live with the pain,
learning new ways to erase the rush in my veins.
I've been through hell and I'm still alive.
I can count all the ways to help you breathe
when you feel like the earth is laying on your chest.
And I can help you up when you've been shoved to your knees.
I'm saving myself and you can too.

But in case I don't breathe again
I just want you to know
that I love you.
You are beautiful,
from the top of your head
to the undersides of your toes.
Don't let another soul tell you different.
Your heart is strong and your mind is unique.
There's a reason hidden in your lungs
that keeps your heart beating everyday.
You we're put on this planet with a purpose
And I promise it wasn't to suffer
because I believe that the one you all think
that lives in the clouds isn't that cruel.

You are not alone, for I am here, always.
No, I'm not six feet under the trees.
I'm holding your hand when you get frightened.
Shoving hope into your path
when life goes left instead of right.
Humming you to sleep on hurricane nights,
Standing in the crowd, proud of you.
Whispering good thoughts into your ears
when all you can think about is ways to stop the torture.
I am here, always.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think

Reviews

[song writer]

Its sad but i love how realistic it is. In most peoples lives today especally people like you and me this is what is happening to them.

[Marie A. Maya]

Thank you for your comment, it means a lot