Update

It's been two years...

Hi, my name is Quinn and I have just recently stumbled upon this website again. I used to write on here a lot, like a lot. It was a major outlet for my feelings and the struggles I was going through at the time. 

So, I was thinking just this morning, how sad it was that I had thrown away all of my writings, poems, short stories, essays, etc. from middle and high school. It was a rough time in my life, the hardest things I had ever experienced socially, emotionally, psychologically from my depression and anxiety disorders. Years ago, In a fit of anxiety, I destroyed and threw away all my hard copies of my writings. I no longer wanted to focus on the terrible things that were happening to me and I felt ashamed. But, today after thinking about how I'd done that, I remembered this old website I used to post my writing on, WritersCafe. I tried to find my page and I did. I tried to log into my account and my golly it worked! I saw all my old friends and even one of my favorite writers that I interacted with, barleygirl, had just posted something. I couldn't stop smiling and I am so ready to explore my old writings (though slightly scared to read the more intense dark emotional ones) and reconnect with the people that gave me so much advice, both academically and personally. 

For those people that may have interest in hearing what I have been up to in the last two years, here it is. I graduated high school a year early in May of 2019. I walked across the stage with my honor cords and sash and was handed my high school diploma even though two years prior I didn't think I would even be able to finish high school. A few months later, I started college at the University of South Carolina. I was going to class and getting good grades, starting anew. I was keeping my appointments with my psychologist and psychiatrist and was really getting better at dealing with my anxiety, depression, and OCD (a diagnosis I got a little over a year ago). I made the dean's list my first semester, and have made the chancellor's list every semester since then. I was so proud of myself and I was making real friends. 

And now I am in my second year of college, studying to get my Bachelors of Arts in History, then I plan on grad school to get my Masters in Library Science. I have come out to all of my family members as gay, which was a feat. Most of them were really supportive or just at least didn't say anything outwardly mean to me. My relationship with my dad was strained after he and my mom got divorced and he became an alcoholic but we are successfully building our relationship again and he himself is getting psychological help for his alcoholism and BPD. 

Corona has definitely changed a lot and now I am back doing online classes, like I did in high school. I thought that I would revert back to my old terrified, anxious, depressed self, but the coping mechanisms and lessons my psychologist has taught me prevented me from doing so. I am so much healthier mentally and physically, and more importantly, so much happier than I was when I was first writing on this site. I am excited to share more with you, and get back into writing poems, which I haven't done since September of 2018, according to my last one on the website. 

If you made it this far, and cared enough to read through this entirely, thank you. Life throws you some pretty hard punches, but you can always get back up, if you try hard enough. 

Reviews

[Randomness]

I love your "Update". It's so great to read about you overcoming such a hard place in your life and then do so many amazing things. Kudo's to you. I hope you stay and write more. :)

[Addict With a Pen]

Thank you, Quinn for being an inspiration. I feel like we were in the same boat in terms of what time in our lives we were on this website sharing poems we wrote. I remember you and your stuff well :) It's been years since I've posted, but I plan to get back into it. I find myself looking through my friends on this site and their older writing for inspiration but haven't found exactly what I was looking for. I'm excited to read what you put out, and to be inspired yet again! Take care.

[barleygirl]

This is the best news I've read all week! I'm so glad you're back, I'm glad you got thru all this in the last couple years, & I'm glad you shared it with us. You do sound strong & healthy now, but I don't remember you as ever being so riddled with tough stuff before. I find it amazing how you can sum up 2 years like this . . . most people would get bogged down in too many details, but you skimmed the high & low points like a pro. Life is life! We are all getting better & better at it, clear up to age 64 for someone like me, & life still comes as surprise & a growing experience. I used to write journals in my 20's & 30's that were filled with all my neuroses & I threw them all out without re-reading any of it. I didn't want to know how self-absorbed I was, in my head trips & delusions & constant grinding. I do wish I could go back to try to understand what all that was about, back then, but I'm also okay with letting go of that person I was for a while, a distorted version of myself, trying to cope but mostly struggling. I believe we have been robbed of this possibility (to look back) so we can be urged to keep going forward. Looking forward to reading you. Seeing your name here really pops for me, even tho I'm forgetful . . . I remember loving it when you posted something new here! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie