Relapse

I guess you could say that I've relapsed

From outgoing and confident to an insecure recluse

Lies built on lies until I can't remember why I wasn't able to do that thing you told me to do

Oh wait... nevermind

I was curled up in bed with tears cascading down my cheeks like an overflowing waterfall

Watching YouTube and Netflix, distracting myself from my life with others' lives

Comparing myself to the people on the screen, made up characters

Lies, lies, lies, and more lies so you won't know how I'm feeling inside

I laugh and I smile but inside I cry and cower

Is the medicine still working? Is it enough?

Pop another Xanax, maybe I'll feel better.

My hands are shaking. My mind is breaking.

Whew. Honesty sucks.