Depression (An Important Rant)

Many people like to tell me and others that suffer with depression and anxiety that we have nothing to be anxious or depressed about. That we have a perfect life or a normal life and there is nothing wrong and we should not feel that way. But the problem with depression is that it does not care. It doesn't care if you have a pool and three tennis courts in your backyard or if you live in a mansion. It does not care if you are rich. Depression will hit you and affect you no matter who you are or how you live. 

People also like to tell you that it is all in your head and to snap out of it. Just feel happy again. Don't focus on being sad or anxious all of the time. That's not how it works. Depression and anxiety take over your mindset. It is all you can think about. If you could just snap out of it and be happy, PEOPLE WOULDN'T PUT THEMSELVES THROUGH BEING DEPRESSED OR ANXIOUS. And when people express themselves to you about being anxious or depressed, it isn't a cry for attention, it's a cry for help. Most of the time, we don't want anyone to know about it. It can feel embarrassing, especially if you live a good life in other respects. But, your emotions are valid. You should never feel embarrassed about the way you feel. All of your feelings are valid. 

You can't just stop being depressed. You can't just stop the feeling like "that" with a snap of your fingers. It's a long process. It's a battle. It's not just something you can "get over".

People often feel ashamed for how they feel or about their anxieties and depression. If you are not in control of your own mind, terrible things can happen, and medication especially for things like depression if it gets so bad, it's not something you can fight on your own sometimes. You might need to talk to a therapist or psychologist. You sometimes need to go on medication. There is no shame in taking anti-depressants or anti-anxiety drugs.

People that have depression often talk about a feeling of numbness. There's a feeling, usually with someone who has quite bad depression, of numbness. It can actually lead to a lot of self harm issues because people just want to feel SOMETHING. A tragedy or trauma happens and there is an overall feeling of being so depressed that the mind can't take it and part of the mind shuts down so it can't feel the pain or the tough emotions. That's the feeling of being numb.

As soon as I started to talk to my psychologist, Ingrid, I started to feel better. She specialized in anxiety disorders and depression in teenagers. She understood what I was talking about and experiencing. It was such a relief to have someone who didn't treat me like I was crazy and over-reacting. The second I got help and started to take medication, I not only felt like I finally had someone on my side, but a boost to help me get my feelings under control. Usually a therapist or psychologist will piece together certain events in a person's life and they will recognize the events that made that person start to feel that way. For many people it isn't just one event, but multiple. I remember feeling like I was insane because I had nothing to be afraid of. I had no idea why all of the sudden I would feel a rush of panic sweep in. Ingrid helped me understand why it was happening, what started it in the first place, and how to cope with it. 

It is so important to see a specialist because you cannot just address depression as a word. You can't just say depression is just a word and everyone that has it feels the same way and has the same things happen to them.There are so many variations of depression and depths of depression. You cannot just put everyone in the same category. 

I got to a point where I asked myself "Is it worth it? Is this all that life has to give me? Is this all there is for me?" The more you talk about it, the less you feel alone. Support is everything. Talk to someone who understands and is compassionate towards you. If you can't go to a doctor or therapist or psychologist, find someone who is going through the same thing. Find someone you can relate to. You are not alone. If you yourself are not struggling with anxiety or depression, be compassionate and understanding towards those who are. If someone opens up to you, do not put them down. Reach out your arms and envelop them in love and support.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Since there are a number of pieces posted here at the Café from usually younger people feeling depression or anxiety or any other mental/emotional challenges, your essay is one of the best, most down-to-earth ways to respond to these others. I’ve written a few things, being bipolar & with anxiety myself, but I have never managed to put it like you do. Your approach is approachable! You explain the everyday details of what “getting help” looks like & feels like. Sometimes people don’t get help due to fear of the unknown. Here you put a reader into the shoes of someone seeking help & you make it look easy & like the right thing to do. This is truly an excellent effort to speak to others in helpful ways while making everything feel acceptable. There are more errors than usual for your writing & also some repetitive phrases here & there, but the message is still strong & clear (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Quinn W]

Sorry about the errors, hopefully they did not ruin the piece or make it difficult to read. I wrote this rant in one sitting and didn't bother to edit it. I wanted it to be raw.

[barleygirl]

Nothing distracting at all, but I try to mention it since someone here recently posted a rant for giving people a "pass" on SPAG (spelling & grammar) *smile*