The Ocean

I sit on the beach
Picking up individual grains of sand
Contemplating each one but eventually throwing them over my shoulder.

I stand up and walk quickly towards the water
Not looking back

My toes are submerged
The water sends jolts up my legs and my knees buckle
I steady myself and step further and further out

My stomach hits the water and I feel the cold liquid send chills up my back

I step out farther and farther until my chin meets the water
Just then a wave comes over c and I my head is completely underwater

I panic as the current hits me over and over
Taking me deeper and farther out to sea
My eyes close as I accept my fate

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

i thought you were talking about a whole life..
how we temp it sometimes and it plays and we play along
like thinking how far and how deep i could go along with
life games,games to play,i always thought that..
lets play a little but with these first signs that she will get rough to me
i will just withdraw..many times i was not that slick to play with her
and the current was too strong..till i told myself
its the big question are you ever ready
to risk it and play to the end and accept..fate
i really enjoy your writings

[Breanna.Pratt]

I like how this poem takes a different route on the topic of the ocean. Usually most poems I read about the ocean aim to go on about how beautiful and calming "paradise is". But you take a dark turn on it and I really do like it. The only thing I would change is maybe try to add some appropriate punctuation throughout the poem, this would make it more mature I feel, add some more meaning to it as well.