the suicide room

I AM NOT SUICIDAL. Nor have I ever self-harmed in any way. I was just inspired by the excellent film, The Suicide Room.

Reality means nothing to you. You feel stuck in a place where you are slowly suffocating. This feeling tears you apart inside. It comes from within, from a place inside you but you feel as though it’s coming from somewhere outside. So you are trapped in between, in a sort of limbo, where life offers you nothing but being alone only drives you insane and into self-loathing. The self-loathing drives deeper and deeper into you where it takes root and consumes you. It takes over you and dictates everything you do, say and think. You look at yourself as the enemy but also everyone around you. It goes to a point where it makes you scream and claw at yourself. You’re tearing at your chest as if you could actually take out the thing that was making you feel this way. And you so desperately wish you could. And so you try. You take the razor and slowly drag it across you wrists. You watch the blood seep out, in hopes that the evil within you leaves too. You dig your nails into your chest, screaming and crying out to get out whatever is inside of you. Every moment of your excuse for a life is painstakingly agonizing. Each second goes by alarmingly slow as the battle within you rages. You don’t know who or what you’re fighting. You harm yourself, but that doesn’t work. But there’s no one else to target so you continue to harm yourself. The cause of the problem seems to be one huge entity, consuming you and everything around you. It’s in the air that you breathe and in the blood that runs through your veins. It slowly starts to make up the very core of your being. You are the problem. Your life is the problem. The world is the problem. You don’t know which one it is. You don’t know anything. You don’t know what is happening to you or why you are feeling this way. There seems to be absolutely no outlet to leave behind this godforsaken existence. Oh but there is. All of a sudden, death welcomes you with heavy arms. This idea which had haunted you for so long, which you have been taught to fear is now the only thing that you can seek solace from. The pain that you feel when mutilating yourself is a reminder that peace can truly be achieved. That it is tangible and will always be an option. 

Author's Note

I don't care about grammar, I just want to know what you think!

BTW I AM NOT SUICIDAL. Nor have I ever self-harmed in any way. I was just inspired by the excellent film, The Suicide Room.

Reviews

[Kenzie Morg]

Wow, this is a good representation of stuff. It's like "GPOY"

[Kayliee]

I ove how you made everthing so clear and smiple, and--as scary as it was--amazingly vivid. I could not imagine myself doing such a thing, but your story has given my a taste of what it would be like; I would never want to fall into that situation.
I don't find myself writing something so dark and meanful, no matter how much I've tried D;.
Though grammer and choice of words would improve your writing, so I suggest working on those two things. ^-^
Other than that, it was just fantastic!!♥

[Dawn25]

Yeah your punctuation and grammer sucks big time but what you wrote is awesome. The story totally moved me to tears, seeing as I understand most of it. Nice! :)