Hiding in the Background

The after effects of bullying.

How do a young child's eyes open to the misery around him? When do we stop from becoming children and start the transition to maturity? Something must have happened to us all to finally open our eyes. Perhaps you have seen your strong and powerful father beaten to a pulp when you were walking with him one day. Maybe your mother wasn't an angel at all but a nagging woman who drove you insane.

 

In my case, the realization that my parents were just ordinary human beings was NOT what opened my eyes. Fellow children that have made the transition from innocence were the ones that made me see the truth - the world is an ugly place after all. Bullying made me see.

 

Even at eighteen, I stand up in front of the crowd and see my childhood victimizers staring back at me with grins on their lips and malicious twinkles in their eyes. I grow frightened, anticipating a mock or a laugh as I make my speech. Nobody in class understood why I couldn't remember the next sentence. They had no idea why my heart pounded a hundred times a minute when I'm required to stand up or why a stutter as I attempt to explain myself. Why - why oh why does she speak so softly?

 

If I were a ragdoll and you take me apart, you would see a pin amongst the cotton and fluff inside. If you take it out, will the ragdoll be able to stand?

Author's Note

Why do you think I write rather than speak?

Reviews

[Celtic Cat]

Uninterrupted speach, that's what we get when we write. I was not bullied when I was young, but I was the youngest of five, so my opinion was never sought out. I learned to talk to myself... through journals and poems and stories. I know I like what I have to say. It's only lately my words have even been read. It's a good place, keep writing, and hold your head up. What people do and say to us is a reflection of THEM, not a reflection of us. Always remember that. Much love~~

[lilfeather]

You my dear, need to tell you tormentures some back bone. You know whats kinda silly, I used to be like that, until i started to lisen to music. I really got into Eminem, he's my hero, it helps me when i feel helpless to listen to his song "Bully". It in powers me.

[LoreMaster]

Because words are nothing but lies. The heart is the one that speaks when you do, my friend. The world is made from paper and the people write in it. We writers do write in it, in walls, pavement, in our lives. Nice work, ms. Sutoraika ,,,