My Choice

The explosion of pain in my body as punches and kicks are hurled at my gut, attempting to change the fibers of my being.

Yes, I chose this.

The isolation and rejection and being pushed away by the people I most dearly love and thought loved me too.

I also chose this.

The icy grip fear holds on my heart that settles in as soon as I wake up in the morning...fear for my life...every day of my life...

I definitely chose this.

The hateful words, actions, and feelings belonging to someone who doesn't know me and doesn't care to know me.

And again this is what I chose.

I even chose those nights as a confused little kid, crying alone because I thought there was something wrong with me.

And to the world there was and is something very wrong...

Living on the streets where no one including my own family gives a s**t about me or cares if I'm alive or dead.

Yeah, I chose this too.

Hiding who I truly am just to make it through another day without being harassed just because I'm different from you.

I especially chose this one.

I chose all of this just as much as you chose your parents or the color of your skin.

So the next time you tell me that being gay was a choice, just think to yourself about how many people you know who would choose to live in hell on earth.

Author's Note

Just something I felt I needed to get out of my head...some of those things aren't from my own experiences but may be the experiences of others.