why i can't.. [012008]

Why I Can’t

 

There are so many reasons why I can’t love you anymore

We never talked again, you never really reached out

You stayed in your corner while I busied myself building a wall

An empty space between us is better off closed

You did not leave me any last words

I don’t even remember hearing the word goodbye

Or maybe I never took time to keep quiet and listen hard

For words not uttered but meant deeply

You never paid attention to my fears

I hated being left behind with your back against me

But you must have forgotten or you never noted

Because it looked like it was the easiest thing for you to do

Maybe I stopped making you happy

Your smiles – they never shined for me again

You were always looking the other way

And I kept asking myself if I was invisible

You’re constantly hurting me

Opening my almost healed wounds and making them bleed

With unspoken words and repressed actions

Invokes a pain that comes from inside of me

Without even doing anything at all

These empty spaces that were closed found ways to reopen

And every little hole sends me hope I do not wish to accept

Because I know that not all good things ever last

When it seems like I’ve grown indifferent

When anger have disappeared and forgiveness replaced it

I thought that maybe it’s still possible

But you can’t and I can’t either