Deep down

the protagonist stuck between darkness and light, searching for his way.

In a dark tunnel I once saw light around the end,

End was near yet felt further far away,

Hope betrayed me,

Love left me,

My body strangled me,

Yet on the dark day I made it to that light,

It was gone, gone further away,

Vanished it did in the darky caves of life

Yet lost I sat there, all to myself,

Realizing I was all alone,

In that creepy tunnel,

Far away from the light,

But it was too late by then,

To catch that shuddering hope of life,

But it was too late by then.

Painful was to try ever again,

Until i gave up.

Author's Note

it goes more along the way of lyrics.

Reviews

[The dark story]

The end was touching and blowing. I like the use of the simple diction here.

[Sami Khalil]

My love left me
my body strangled me.
Nice write.

[Muhammad Qasim]

Thanks

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome.

[Danielle Nicole]

You could really expand a lot upon this, it could go many ways, you could make it a much longer poem, it could be a precursor to a short story, anything, but all the same it's very good just on its own. A few mistakes here and there but nothing but a minor spelling error. Very well done :)

[Muhammad Qasim]

Thanks alot for the review .. i will keep your points in mind and try to rewrite this or create a new one .. it could have gone many ways but i just wrote what came in my mind and this was just it!