Soiled clothes

                                                     The grey clouds rolled in

                                                     and swallowed an otherwise

                                                     sunny summer day

                                                     Lightening struck

                                                     and thunder followed 

                                                     like a puppy dog.

                                                     The rain started to fall lightly

                                                     And I said"God, we need more rain".

                                                     The rain then cascaded from the sky

                                                     like a river looking for the falls and

                                                     said to me,"I pour fourth to cleanse your soul,

                                                     open up and bare your dirty clothes." I did.

                                                     Then,hail started to fall and God said,

                                                     "these are the souls I rejected because

                                                      they did't let the rain in".

                                                      I watched them melt into the earth

                                                      shortly after they landed and knew,

                                                      they had been given another chance.

 

 

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

Reminds me vaguely of the ending of Tim Burton's "9" when the souls rain down in the ending of the movie.

I must say, though, what a fantastic and marvelous view of the water cycle continuing its course across the world, with the precipitation derived from waters that once were mixed with other substances, perhaps from the salty ocean or the random puddle in the street muddled with soil and grime and various others lurking in its body, all given a second chance after evaporation. Well done.

[Dee]

hey paul, liked this a lot...better that what the good nuns taught us....Good job...will share with my grandnsons in a few years :)

[paul sal.....]

share with them now

[Frontier]

Wow the way it ended really added a twist! Awesome metaphor.....rejected souls...and hail...woah

[Erik Daniel]

Wow. This is a deep poem. Well done.

[melissa]

Awesome poem keep up the great work and keep them coming

[Linda alexander]

Fantastic way of presentation of the message, yes we all got second chances, marvelous simile used, enjoyed fully