pictures

Me and my dad went to the crime scene. It was right behind an abandoned town house. Anna showed me a picture of it when she lived in it. I t was beautiful. The porch was a bright green because of how they planted many plants everywhere. The house was white with black window sills. Ivy leaves were growing all over it gining it a green glow. When you look at it now it was the total opposite. The window sills were a sickly green and had fallen out of place, the door was barely on the hinge and was also a sickly green. The house wasn't white it was brown and had black spots all over it. I went around back to take some pictures. I was looking at them when I noticed something was in the corner of one. It was where Anna said she was killed. "Around the left corner of the house where the clothing line is. I was putting up the laundry when he came and killed me. Before I fell to the ground I could hear his shirt rip, so check for anything." I turned around and walked to the clothing line. I was surprised they kept it up here. The thing that caught my eye was something hanging on a branch of a tree. It was a piece of cloth. It was black and had a red spot on it. 'Blood', I thought. I took the whole branch off the tree and walked over to my dad. "Look what I found."

"Is that what Anna was talking about?"
"I think it is." We walked to the truck and went to the library.

(*)

Back at the newspaper company...........  Carol was printing off the pictures and was happy at how they came out. When one of them came out with a small blur on it she threw it away. She looked at it one more time and noticed something had changed. There was a face on it. Then a body. Then she could see the details of the clothes. There was a sudden silence then she threw the picture to the ground. She had just witnessed what the Carrols' were hiding. She immediatly picked it up and packed it into her pocket. Forgetting about the other pictures she packed up her stuff and ran to her car. She started her car and went to the Carrols'.

(*)

We walked into the library and I immediatly saw Jake. He smiled and ran over to me. He hugged me and leaned in to kiss me, but my dad came up and said,"Hu,Hm." We both stopped looking at eachother and I turned to my dad. "Um, dad this is Jake. My boyhm, friend."

"I'm sorry your what?"

"Huh, my boyfriend."

"Okay that's all I wanted to know." I looked at him and he smiled. I smiled back and turned to Jake and kissed him on the cheek. We ran back to where Anna and my mom were. "So you got anything?"

"No only a file, but your not allowed to check it out."

"So copy it." My mom turned to me and said,"I knew that." We all smiled and laughed and she walked over to the copiers. After she had gotten three copies she walked over to the librarian and asked,"How much is it for three copies?"

"75 cents." My mom payed her three quarters and, I sware the librarian had put it in her pocket, but put it somewhere behind the desk. We walked out of the library and saw a car speeding down the road being followed by a cop. I shook my head thinking, 'Is this neighborhood safe?' We walked to my dad's truck and my dad put the lid down in the back and we climbed into the back. We layed out the stuff in the back of the truck, when the wind started blowing. We were afraid they would blow away, so we put them into a bag and climbed into the truck. Me, Jake and Anna sat in the back, while my mom and dad sat in the front. I pulled out the small branch and showed Anna the piece of cloth. She gasped at what she saw and took it into her own hands. Jake stared at it and looked out the window. I looked at him with a confused look. I would think he would ask,"Where'd you find that?" or "What is that?", but all he did was stare out the window. Anna stared at it and sniffed it. I looked at her curiously and she said," I can't believe it was there. I wonder if the police could get anything off of it?"

"Well maybe we shouldn't let the police know that were in a case we probably shouldn't be in." She looke at me and nodded her head. She handed the branch back to me and said,"I wonder if we could find one of those crime scene kits. I had one when I was little and they really work."

I asked my mom if we could go to the mall and see if we could find one, but we got interupted when we saw policce sirens at our house. We saw them standing at our door and Carol Lang standing to the side. When we pulled up she got out of reach from the police and ran up to our car. "I know what your hiding! I know what your hiding!! You better let her go or I will tell!!!" Anna was ducking behind me, but was still invisable. The police had pulled her away and locked her inside the car. They drove away and told that she had gone into a mental attack. They were taking her to the hostpital and having her checked up. They knew her very well because she had interviewed them many times. They've never seen her like this. We turned and looked at eachother shocked at how she may have known about Anna. When the police left dad pulled the truck into the garage and walked inside. We started to set the table and had pretended nothing had happened. 

Reviews

[Havatara]

I liked it. Maybe you can separate some of the longer paragraphs into two so it's easier to read, but it's fine the way it is. Great job and keep writing!

[A.Lee]

I'm glad the police didn't believe her. Very creative.

[Nayan]

Sometimes, you should give a reference, instead of just saying she or he. As it gets confusing about whom you are talking... Like in this line "The police had pulled her away and locked her inside the car. They drove away and told that she had gone into a mental attack. " Here you can say the name or can say 'the lady reporter'.