questions

I had gotten up around seven. I stretched and looked over my bed to see Anna. She wassn't there. I got nad almost furious, mostly because I was thing she was doing her 'job'. I looked around my room. I went into my bathroom and into my closet. None of those places had her in it. I decided to check the rest of the house. We didn't have a big house, but we didn't have a small house either. I went into my mom's bedroom to see if she was awake. Her bed was made, but I couldn't find her either. I went into the kitchen thinking,'One of them will come out soon.' I was right. Annacame into the kitchen will my laptop in her hand. I was jugging down a gallon of milk when she came in. I looked at her because she had this look on her face that made me a little worried. I even thought I saw a smile. I havn't seen her smile since now. I walked over to her and looked to the screen of my laptop. "Whatcha' doin'?"

"O just looking at pictures."

I had just remembered I had taken some 'pictures' of myself. I got my face into a big smile and tried to make sure she didn't see them. "Umm Anna, darling, can I show you something really cool?"

"I've already seen them." she said while giving me a sleer smile. I looked down, I had never noticed the floor was so dirty. "Why don't you scrub them?" I looked at her. "What?"

"I heard what you were thinking, so I say scrub the floors. If there so dirty to you then scrub away."

I stared at her and she smiled at me and I knew that meant scrub. 

 

While she played on my laptop, getting on youtube, messing up my itunes, I had to scrub so I thought 'Okay time for some answers.' I went to where Anna was sitting,"Oh by the way your mom left you this note."

She held it out to me and I took it. It said,"Dear Becca, I have gone out for a job offering. It is way in town, but hopefully I will be home before 3. I may even get a little something something for you. Love mom."

'cool.' I thought. I started scrubbing again because Anna gave me that look again. I satred down at the floor. Looking at the pattern of ciircles I made. I was still looking at the floor when she said,"I told you how I was killed. Someone came up behind me and slit my throat. Now how I became a killer ghost is accually kinda' funny, in a way. Well I was roaming around this dark place. I mean pitch black. Well anyway I felt something at my foot I picked it up and could feel the sharp edge. I instantly knew it was a knife. I dropped it because it was my worst fear now. After that I could hear a noise behind me. I flew back to the ground and tried to crawl away, but the person caught hold of my dress and sat me in a chair. The pitch black darkness lightened into a blazing fire. I got so scared. I thought I was going to catch fire! Well the guy picked up the knife and said, 'this is your gift. The gift of killing.' I just stared at him thinking, 'Killing?' then he said,'But it also has a cloud on it which means that if a person does as you say you will grant a wish of there hearts desire.' All I did was stare at him then he faded. The room went black and I found myself staring at my body and knew what I was meant to do."

All I did was stare at her in amazement. That wasn't funny, but just how did she get into the pitch black darkness and any of it. Well I thought that was all my questions so I said,"When do you want to go to the library?"    

Reviews

[Havatara]

First paragraph: change wassn't to wasn't, nad to mad, Annacame to Anna came.
Second paragraph: O to Oh (but that depends sometimes, so it's not a big deal).

Then later, after the note, change cool to Cool, because it's the start of a sentence. In the same line, change satred to stared. In the next line change ciircles to circles. Two lines later, change accually to actually.

When the guy with the knife is talking, capitalize this.

Those were the only errors I found, which is really really good. I can't wait to read the rest of it because so far the plot is going great!

[A.Lee]

This is good. However I might switch the title of this chapter with the previous one. This one tells more about what happened and the previous one tells more about all the questions she has. Nice job so far though

[Nayan]

In this line "mostly because I was thing she was doing her 'job'" , should it be "...I was thinking..." ?

In this line " I started scrubbing again because Anna gave me that look again. I satred down at the floor." , spelling is wrong:- 'satred' should be 'stared' :)

And I couldn't understand one thing:- how could a person catch her when she is dead? And who was that person?

The story is becoming more and more interesting... lets see what happens in next chapters :)

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

Can't wait to read on! I am really loving this. Thanks for sharing. :)