Coming to Grips with My Sexuality

The river bend of my childhood glowed in front of me,

and I sang as I strolled along the sewer run.

What wonders lie in front of me, I could only imagine.

Would my love be waiting at the end of my journey?

As I came to the fork, I looked both ways,

carefully searching for some sign from the Heavens.

In which direction did my heart truly lead?

It was difficult, back then, to decipher the truth.

To be honest, it’s still difficult, at times.

I listened to the voices in side of me,

arguing my future with you.

“To Hell if need be,” one said to the other.

“To Heaven,” the other, “It’s the only way.”

I stared downward, my confused tears joined the mucky water.

In one direction, I saw my future.

In the other, that which they wished for me.

I mumbled a prayer for my soul

and continued on my way.

Reviews

[nicole]

Wow, this is great! I really feel I understand this poem. There are a lot of closeminded people in the world whom believe sexuality judges whether or not you go to hell. I really liked how you used dialogue as well. This poem shows how you were once lost but have come to terms with the way you honestly feel. Well done.

[Raef C. Boylan]

As an atheist, I'm lucky in this respect. Although my mum converted from non-religious to christianity about a year ago, and that could have been bad.
She says I'm going to hell for not believing in god or Jesus as his son, though, rather than for any sexual 'deviancies'.
I like how you chose to convey this issue, with the walk and footpath - a metaphor that's been used many times but the story-telling tone you use makes it feel original.
If this poem is non-fictional, good luck. I hope the guilt wears off.
Being an atheist, I'd say ditch the religion...but if that's impossible, there are many different sects of each religion that feel different ways about certain things. There are plenty of gay and bisexual christians; I think it's just about finding the right group for you.

Anyway, good luck and thanks for sharing your poem.