Countdown

We thought we had forever. How little we knew.

 19 days.

It began with a dance. A drink followed. A drunken kiss, a quick grope. Holiday entertainment, I shrugged. Nothing special. 

18 days.

The next night, much the same. A third followed, an added hug goodbye. What the hell, you thought. Movie tickets, make-out session. 

14 days.

A text. Facebook friends, Christmas shopping. Another party. Drinking, dancing, cuddling after. Only a fling, I said. Just another rebound, you agreed.

12 days.

Dinner and a movie. Ice cream sundaes, a kiss goodnight. Flowers and chocolate. Be my unofficial sweetie? you asked. So I am, I replied. 

10 days.

Birthday wishes, Happy New Year. A mutual obsession. Tangible attraction. Holding hands, hour long phone calls.

1 week left.

Whispered I love you's. Softly spoken doubts. Is this real? I wondered. It just might be, you marveled.

5 days.

Back to school soon. We grow fearful of the coming time and distance apart.

3 days.

Packing. I spend the night. 3rd base reached.

2 days.

Time creeps up. We hold each other tight.

The night before.

A promise ring. We make love.

Departure day.

One last kiss. A lingering hug. 

2 hours.

You send a text: love you.

One hour. 

I miss you already.

30 minutes.

Counting days.

15 minutes.

Feels wrong.

7 minutes.

A walk.

1 minute.

I grab my phone.

30 seconds.

I dial your number.

20 seconds.

It rings. You don't answer.

15 seconds.

Your best friend calls. 

10 seconds.

Do you know? he asks.

7 seconds.

Know what?

6 seconds.

One sentence.

5 seconds.

His car crashed.

4 seconds.

I am frozen.

3 seconds.

The phone drops.

2 seconds.

The world spins.

1 second. 

My heart shatters.

He's dead.

Times up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Not exactly what I was envisioning when I started doodling, but it took on a life of its own.

Reviews

[shythatway]

I think you should keep doodling away ;) This was good. Even if I somewhat expected it to end, the way it ended still gripped me. I think the simplicity of the remarks holds the strength in this, and the final 'time's up'.

The only thing I could pick on is that the headings 'The night before', 'Departure day' and 'One hour' seemed a bit out of context because they didn't start with a number like the others did. But that's just my opinion. =)

[James K. Blaylock]

Wow, this was a pretty powerful piece. It had me from start to sad finish.

jkb

[Identity Thefted]

oh wow. This is great. I'm not even sure what I can say to express how this made me feel. It's like writing down the secret fear everyone has when their loved one is away or not answering their phone.

[man Atek]

wow ... times up
something to be changed with the time
full character and big feeling