When We Merged II

April 2016

Before I continue, I'm going to share a quick story about one of the biggest defining moments of my relationship with my current partner.

This was, I'd say about 3 years ago now. We were still fresh in our puppy love stage and couldn't get enough of being around each other. We weren't exactly dating at this point, but we might as well have been. This particular weekend had been an emotional roller coaster and we were both so physically and emotionally exhausted by the end of it. We has spent all day Thursday, Friday and Saturday rushing through each other’s amorous presence, contemplating where we wanted this relationship to go, and even questioning if this was a good idea to continue at all.

It was a quiet Sunday night, and for the first time in days we were calm enough to just sit down and breathe. We both knew we needed to get back our 'real lives', so after resting for a bit we decided it was time for me to head out.

She walked with me to my car, but when we got there and I opened my mouth to say goodbye- no words came out. An odd feeling began to come over me, like a very small tingling. It almost itched it was so light and ticklish. I looked at her, my eyes widening as the tingly sensation grew. She seemed equally as astonished, as it was happening to her as well. For mere moments no one moved. We simply stood in front of each other, staring into each other’s eyes, saying nothing. Just when I was going to finally get myself to speak and break the moment, she pulled me in for a kiss. As soon as her lips touched mine- We were gone.
 
We started traveling backwards through time and space. Flying through fractals and patterns of strange colors and origins.
We fell into each other.
We fell through each other.
We couldn't even begin to wrap our minds around what was happening. But we didn't need to understand, not yet at least.

Somehow we ended up on the ground jammed together between my car and the one parked next to it. I was seated on her lap, front facing with my arms and legs wrapped tightly around her. We were just there, on the ground, staring at each other for hours. Literally hours passed and still nothing was said. We just stared at each other, but our eyes were vacant.

We had gone somewhere.
---

Rewind. Fast Forward. Rewind. Pause.

So now yes, back to before. I've just had this huge profound moment of self-acknowledgment and self-worth. I'm feeling amazing with myself. My energy levels are soaring through the roof and my vibrations are singing and resonating on a whole different magnitude now. I look to my beloved, who I had completely forgotten about until now. I had just metaphysically out shined myself in minutes and she had witnessed it all.

Through my entire journey -day one of my existential crisis to now- she had been there, holding me gently, guiding me slowly - unconsciously - showing me the way. I tried to explain to her what had just happened to me, but I didn't need to. She knew.
She had observed my entire metamorphosis.

She was my witness.

Suddenly all of my soul turned from me and looked at her.
Truly, looked at her.
&
Her soul was looking back.
 My Highest Self was welcoming her Highest Self.

I had found unconditional love existing within myself and because of that I was finally able to share it with her. Share the love within me with her for the first time.
I had returned to the place that is love.

The state of being IN love.

That tingling sensation returned to us, from all those years ago. Except this time it was stronger, more corporeal and somatic. We both stared in wonder as our souls reached out to each other, and began to dance.

 We didn’t need music because we already knew the song.

Knew the rhythm and the rhyme.

We were dancing a dance that was so familiar we almost passed out, from the overwhelming assault of nostalgia flooding our system.  Together we climbed, higher than we ever thought possible. But now thought was not an issue. Our thinking minds with our thinking thoughts were extinguished by our love.

I felt a love for her that I had never experienced before.

Pure. Flawless. Complete.

We had traveled out of our minds and into our hearts.

You just love.

Until you and the Beloved become One.

-Ram Dass