Twisted Up Inside

Brand new song... No chorus...Wrote it yesterday (9/14)

Twisted up inside

I can’t breathe at all

I want to say, "I’m leaving"

And hope you chase me to the door

And say, "Stop, listen.

I’ve loved you all along."

I turn to a kiss

And a lonesome dream wakes

To the echo of a ticking clock,

Deep in it's final hour.

Just lay here in my arms

And we can last the winter.

　

Chorus

Twisted up inside

So tongue tied I can't speak

With so much left to say

And such little that remains.

　

Finite and desperate

Doubts racing fast

It's all flying by

And I can’t still my shaking hands.

I look around afraid

Lost in a hall of mirrors

Choosing careful words

And the right time to say them.

Though I'm not sure

There's any way to change this.

To take a long deep breath

And feel that weight lifted.

　

Chorus 2

Twisted up inside

To the point where I can't speak

With so much left to say

And such little that can change.

　

Fear shooting up my spine

Desire Blinding me

(I can't see through the haze)

Hoping that you'll stay.

Hoping you can see.

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

"I turn and we kiss

And the bad dream wakes



To the echoes of the clock ticking,

Counting down the final seconds

‘Cause I’d give it all just for a minute

To lay in your arms and watch it finish"
That is so beautiful. All good...:)

[Pryde Foltz]

Sounds to me like you don't really want to go. You have intrigued your reader and I want to know more.