I got a scar that I'm proud of

Scars.

I took a needle from my pocket

I etched a story in my skin

I took a needle from my pocket

I held it close, I made it sin

I got a scar that I'm proud of

I got a scar i can show off to my friends

I got a scar that I'm proud of

I got a scar in the shape of something beautiful

I got a scar that I made all by myself

I took a bottle from my pocket

I poured another shot of gin

I took a bottle from my pocket

I held it close, it made me sin

I got a scar that I'm proud of

I got a scar I can show off to my friends

I got a scar that I'm proud of

I got a scar in the shape of something beautiful

I got a scar that I made all by myself

I took a bullet from my pocket

I got a gun and put it in

I took a bullet from my pocket

I spun the barrel, I let it win.

Author's Note

please If you took the time to read it, please take like 4 more seconds and review it. its very helpful to me. thank you!!! (and yes, I used got instead of have on purpose, so please no grammar nazis)

Reviews

[Bare trees]

Hey Kayleen, I liked this, I think it's really good but as a musician It feels more like a blues song with its repetitive meter feel to it. As a poem I would take out the first stanza. As a song it would usually go by letters in the way it's setup. (aaba) type of thing.

If you number each stanza--1 2 3 4 5 6 and take out the first stanza you could form it as 2 4 3 6 3. In any case, you did a reall good job on this.

[SOUL LESS]

Different...and i think got is perfect.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Every scar, physically and emotionally is a part of who we are, they can be from bravery, mistakes we learn from or from just be adventurous... so they are a part of who you are and should be shown off.

[E.H. Monroe]

Rule number 1 ( for me anyway) dont explain your mispellings and mistakes to the readers. Who the f**k cares if they think it was a f**k up? If thats where they want to plant their flag and hill to die on, they don't deserve the paper their birth certificate was printed on. The audeince with a pair of brain cells will use that and disect the poem with their own thoughts. Everyone else..is just wasting time..

The thing kicks like a blood for blood song, maybe something later like off "Serenity". Its got the balls of a hammer hit but retains the heart. The progression of the tragedy is only matched by the seemingly unphased reaction of the writer of the thing.

Booya and bravo and stuff.
well done

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Wow - powerful and sad ending there. Very well put. Sounds like lyrics to me. Nicely spun. I have some scars myself - I can truly empathize with this as can many I believe.
Light,
Siddartha

[D.J. Lutz]

Please realize that I am no expert on the forms and styles of poetry. That said, I would not change a thing. This is a dark piece, and that's okay as long as it's not autobiographical (particularly in this case.) I enjoyed it immensely. By repeating the "refrain" stanza, you create a needed pacing that sets apart the subtle differences in the "action" stanzas. Excellent use of tension, building to a sharp, sudden catharsis. Bravo.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

It reads smoothly. It is very different which is good... who wants to write the same as others? I like it.. a dark ending .. a dark beginning .. i enjoyed reading.. reminds me a bit of something Sylvia Plath may have written long long ago.

Chloe

[Cynthia]

wow, this is a very different write to what I have read so far, its a special peice of write. Well, unfortuntly, I don't have a scar I want to show my friends, *sigh*
Its a really interesting write which catch readers attention on the first place.
Nice Written, and good job.