Virtual Touch

can it still be touching if nothing is tangible?

Shall I sit and write my troubles down for you?

You, the faceless names

You, the real virtuals

Sometimes, I try so hard to write down what's in my head

Like now, and now and then my emotions surpass my vocabulary

and this is what you get

An incoherent glimpse into some faint feeling I cant explain

Do you enjoy my misery or determination more?

Lets have a little vote

and decide how best to utilize this thing I seem to be

Manufacture me into an object of your entertainment

I reach for your approval

Do you find me miserable enough?

Pretty enough? 

to warrant your pity or your laugh?

Some connective common expression that passes quickly

over the faces I've never seen, staring blankly at this screen

in search of something human?

searching for what I provide

and struggle to find in you?

Author's Note

please if you read it, take four more second and leave a review so i know what you thought of it. thank you so much :)

Reviews

[Bare trees]

You were able to convey what a lot of people think but never say. If only our vocabulary were as easy to unleash as our hands at grasping what it wants. Your determination is admirable. Your looks are fine (dare I say cute) and your curiosity at wanting to know if your writing is reaching anyone is natural and common.

If only we could all know what the other person who is scanning our work is thinking. But as you know, not all who read our words will breathe a word about what they thought. So ultimately, Fran Marie is right, we must write to the point that we are happy with our own writing. As for the question you ask, yes, you do touch people with your writing. That's why I wrote this. Good job Kayleen.

[Anicca]

There was something deeply haunting about this piece. It made me think about all the times I have read a deeply depressing piece that happened to be badly written and just left the page, hit the backspace, never to read anything that the person wrote ever again. This provoked a lot of intense memories for me. All the times that I have felt this way, I dont know, again there are no words. Wonderful piece, thanks for sharing.

[howlfjdks]

Very clear and connecting. Great work!

[Brandon]

Very nice. I loved this one. Great job

[Adam :P]

ill leave a review. i liked it ;) whats it about i read it and see it different then you im guessin. so im ask first to see lol

[Alex W]

Never liked poems that don't rhyme for the most part (i'm a simple human being lol) but this goes along very well.

I liked it, good content. To answer the question I have no idea, most peoples writing I try and be nice about, given an honest answer, and if a person intrigues me i'll talk to them more.

Anyway, good piece :-)

[luciddreamer]

Such an honest and in your face write..it moved me....excellent job :)
Peace
Robin

[Jonathan Ballam]

There's an interesting illogical flow to this piece. It's almost as if you first broke something and then let us pick our way through the wreckage. I'm not always a fan of poem that end on a question, although this really made for a deep and meaningful read.

Thanks for sharing ;)

[deeps]

Such a powerful write. Strong emotion in this. I enjoyed this alot!!

[NotYourChinaDoll]

I love this because I understand where it comes from. I especially like your line "Do you find me miserable enough? Pretty enough to warrant your pity or your laugh?" I used to search for connection in a virtual world but it only seemed to make me more empty and more turned-in. And it seemed to catch someones attention you need to be someone pretty and tortured so you can spill your deepest darkest secrets to a stranger with no commitment. Become the hurt puppy or the dark angel. It only makes things darker....am I making sense? I don't even know if any of this was what you were saying but I still really love this poem. Good work.

[Crow]

Spoken with true modern emotion, I can feel need, pain, and perhaps hope.

I love it.