Blame; Take Control

Its That God You Dont Believe In

Its That Family Youre Leaving

The Lies That You Arent Seeing

When You Tell Them To Yourself

And How Bout You?

What The F**k Did You Do?

Its Your Life Now Take It

How Much Worse Will That Make It?

You Say Who You Are Is Not Yourself

So Who's To Blame For Your Own Hell

You Say You Always Were Alone

Well If That's True The Fault's Your Own

Yet You Blame God

You'll Blame Your Girlfriend

You Blame Mommy

The Drugs Youre Taking

But How Bout You?

What The F**k Did You Do?

Well Its Your Life So F*****g Take It

If God's Not Real Than Nothing's Sacred

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Please leave a comment if you took the time to read it. thanks

Reviews

[...]

... brilliant!!! ... brutally introspective and thread bare ... i love how you don't mince words ... i love how you address the issue head on ... this verse embodies the beauty of direct and lucid verse ... it startles one and makes one sit up and think straight ... a soul-stirring write ... indeed ... "If God's Not Real Than Nothing's Sacred" ... (highest rating) ...

[Jeweliet]

i like it, it's strong, and frustrated. the only qualm i have is i dont like everything capitalised... it seems a bit strange....

[Crystal Bay]

Raw emotion! Sometimes when I am writing, especially poetry, I tend to let it flow and forget the grammar or spelling. I've always hated the Spellcheck/Grammar Police unless someone is asking for it. But this is a great poem. Anger and determination.

[alesuriko]

Blunt and intense. I love it. So upfront, in your face and telling it like it is. So aggressive but not angry, simply a good slap in the face of those people who blame everything and everyone else for their pain and suffering.

There are quite a bit of grammar mistakes, however. In the first three lines you need to add apostrophes to "It's", "Don't", "It's", "You're" and "Aren't". In the seventh line "It's". And then in the last two lines "It''s" and this line should be "Than Nothing's Sacred" to make grammatical sense.

Other than that. I simply adore this poem. It's great that you capitalized every word. It really gives the flow and the rhythm and it's aesthetics a good punch and exemplifies the blunt, upfront angle of this poem. Wonderful tone. Great writing.

I enjoy the bluntness of the poem and how it shows how people have been trying to blame everyone but themselves.

[The Perfectionist]

Those 'Its' should be 'It's'
Use 'Were Always' instead of 'Always Were'. Sounds better.
Drugs You're Taking not Drugs Your Taking
You want Then instead of Than at the end, and you probably want Nothing's not Nothing

This has a very lyrical feel to it, which I appreciate, but having everything in proper case just looks stupid, really. It's a strong poem, marred by a bit of messy English, but it would be easier on the eyes if you wrote it normally.

[Devons]

Very good concluding lines to this poem. They have profundity in their meaning.
This is a very tough and hard-hitting poem, attacking the bleeding-hearted one that loses their head and blames others whilst all about are keeping theirs.
It's a controversial point of view in this day and age to expose these so-called victims that claim abuse and inhumanity for all their problems, and excuse their behaviour based on 'suffering' at others hands. It's understandable that many may use this excuse and sometimes it is true - but nowadays too much protection is afforded society and that lets in those that would take advantage and be molly-coddled.
A valiant expression of taboo feelings, well-expressed and delivered with verve.

[Marie Harrison]

This is a great poem, one we can all learn from! As I read your poem, I found myself seeing areas in my own life where I'm often passing the buck of blame off on someone else. It's a dynamic call to awareness poem, with a message that smacks you in between the eyes with your gripping and forceful voice.

[Truly Ross-Wisehart]

Taking responsibility for one's own life. How novel an idea. More people ought to try it. This is very well written.

~True

[zappy]

wow very good